Only elitist(people who think because they have name-brand, they are better than you), and sheep(uneducated consumers, mindlessly buying what you are told to buy) buy iPods. From substandard design for the mentally challenged to the recalled batteries that leak acid all over your purse and clothes.

Lets start from the top....

General Overview

    * Size. Most iPods (except for the Nano, Mini and Shuffle) are about the size of a pack of cigarettes. In general, they range from 3 to 7 ounces (see exceptions above). Means: If you are older, or a larger person, with big fingers, the use of the designed for the retarded buttons are useless to you. Smaller is not better.

    * iTunes is Mandatory. They all sync with iTunes, which is free from Apple's website. Except for the earliest generations noted below, they take both Firewire and USB. Please note it needs to be USB 2.0. If your computer was made in 2002 or earlier, you should make sure you have USB 2.0. BTW, iTunes is not a recommendation. It's mandatory to sync with an iPod. Means: You MUST download software you don't want costing you hard drive space and infecting you with Apple spy ware, that's right sheep, the software reports back to the mother server and tracks your listening habits, and could be hacked to acquire any other data it wants. Big huge open hole in your system, your firewall, your router, isn't that nice? iPods only play Mp4s, Why? Are they better? Nope, Same as Mp3s, only you can't play them on an Mp3 player, doesn't that suck. Apple should have embraced the technology they stole from in the first place, Linux, or unix, FLAC would have been the smarter way to go, a Lossless file, where you get small size, yet lose no sound of the original music. Perfect copy, every time. You sheep don't care, too dumb to buy a real player, still dumber for buying substandard music files. What if you don't want to "buy" music? Maybe use one of those P2P things? Nope, the p2P community won't help, they don't even like you. Amount of Mp4s traded on P2P? Less than 2%.

    * Battery life published by Apple is a guideline. This is important to remember. Does your cell phone ever last as long as the published battery life? Ditto for iPods. The published battery life basically assumes a) middle volume, b) playing in an endless loop and c) never touching the controls. In short, laboratory conditions. Means: In shorter, the battery sucks, recalled a million or so new iPods right off for the crappiness of the battery, fixed the Issue? No, just quieted it, 43% of Apples call volume to it's call centers, which are outsourcing by the way, I know I work for them, are for returns. Batteries still leak, buttons fall off, we have crates and crates of them all trash, and no where to dump them, Why? because iPods are heavy metal. Thats right people you are polluting the earth, thanks sheep.

    * Battery life problems. This is more a myth than reality. Rechargeable batteries start to lose their zing after a couple of hundred charges. Since Apple's batteries are built in, and since people tend to use them every day, the batteries do wear out, like all rechargeable batteries. Fret not, however. There are services that can fix this (more on that under maintenance). Means: Sheep will shell out even more money to fix what was not fixed in the first place. $59 buck for repair fees, to replace a $1 battery, I think not.

    * Screen problems - Nano. Another myth. The Nano is literally so thin, people put them in their pockets. Because it was so thin, it doesn't have the tensile strength of a cell phone or other device to protect the screen. If it bends, the screen will pop. They don't spontaneously combust. Apple will replace broken Nano screens free of charge (Nano only). Means: The Myth is that Apple will replace them, Nope, Nada. Apples policy is if you broke it by means of abuse or neglect, thats your problem. I have personally turned down over 2300 replacements this year so far.

    * Storage Sizes. A good rule of thumb, figure 1,000-1,250 songs per 5GB. This will vary, but it's a good rule of thumb. All iPods can be used both as a music player and as a portable hard drive. Means: Better rule of thumb, if the hard drive or flash malfunctions, happens all the time, you have a nice doorstop. There are hard drive viruses that will kill hard drives, any hard drive. You download one? Opps. Thats all your issue, Apple will not replace it. Using an iPod as a hard drive is flat out asinine, moronic way of doing so. Use Flash, works better can not be corrupted no sync software needed.

What do I use, you might ask? Well since I have not found a FLAC player yet. I use a Lexar Jumpgear Mp3 Player MPC-100-LNBK, you can change both batteries AND drive, if either fail. And No I don't sell them. Batteries are available anywhere, even on airplanes. I have on many occasions been given replacements by an Air Stewardess. Plus it plays real Mp3s, not some crap I just made up, but real Mp3s. Lets say you are on an airplane, you are on the left with your iPod, I, on the right have my player, guy in the middle has a Windows 98 machine, and a wicked play list of songs you have been trying to get for awhile. Who gets to have the play list? Not you. Why? One his collection is in Mp3, and he HATES crappy spy ware software, so no iTunes, second it's a 98 Machine, new to 98 is USB, so no drivers for your iPod, nope, does not interface, but what about my flash drive? Why, look at that, 98 loads it right off, sees it as a drive and loads the songs right off. I get the new songs to enjoy for the long trip ahead, your stuck listening to what Grama loaded before you left. Sucks to be you.

Oh, and those of you that think that because you have a first edition iPod, that it will be worth so much in 10, 15, 20 years think again, millions of people will have them, and they and you will have dead Batteries. Ones that can not be replaced.