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When a Loved One is Diagnosed with a Chronic Condition or Illness:
What You Can Do To Help
Having someone you love get diagnosed with a chronic condition or illness can be hard on not only that person but the people in their lives. Knowing what you can do to help someone who has a chronic illness or condition can be mutually beneficial so here are some tips for you to consider and incorporate:
- Understand Their Condition: Learn all you can about the condition your loved one has. This will give you a better understanding of their symptoms, the condition itself, and what limitations your loved one may have. Sometimes the symptoms of their condition cannot be seen with the naked eye but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist... it just means that you cannot see what it is they feel and live with.
- Never Invalidate The Condition! This is probably the best advise I can offer you: NEVER EVER make your loved one feel as if their condition doesn't exist, or underestimate their symptoms. My ex-husband used to emotionally abuse me after I was diagnosed with RSD/CRPS which is the MOST PAINFUL disease and condition anyone can ever have. I wasn't able to work and do alot of the everyday stuff around the house and he would come home from work and get mad at me because dinner wasn't cooked or the laundry didn't get done. He also yelled at me a few times saying that he worked with a couple women who had cancer and managed to work and take care of their kids. Obviously my husband didn't understand my condition or listen to my doctors when they told him how bad this condition was. He threw it in my face when I couldn't work and made me feel horrible becuase of my limitations... and this made my emotional distress much worse. Thankfully he's no longer around and I do not have to take the emotional abuse anymore but it's VERY IMPORTANT to never do this to your loved one. Take them and their condition seriously and NEVER underestimate their limitations and feelings.
- Acknowledge the Condition: Never pretend their condition doesn't exist. Sometimes people think that if they ignore the situation it will go away but doing this to a loved one with a chronic illness or condition can do more harm than good. Make sure you let them know you are aware of and understand what they suffer from. You may have a hard time dealing with it but imagine how your loved one feels when they actually have to LIVE with it.... so show some compassion and understanding and make sure you let them know you care. By doing this you not only let them know you care but it will show.
- Be Patient, Supportive and Understanding: Keep in mind that your loved one is dealing with a life altering condition and needs to get used to the adjustments in life it will cause. They are doing the best they can and need the people in their lives to understand that. Be more patient with them and their emotional and physical limitations. This can be hard but it's detrimental in them being able to cope. Ask them how you can help-- they may not need help but this can make them aware that you are there for them if and when they will need it. If they do need your help, give it willingly and unconditionally. Don't make them feel guilty or indebted to you. Your loved one may have physical or emotional changes that you aren't used to- be patient with them. If they are moody then be understanding of why they are moody. If they gain weight or have phyical defects don't make them feel any less beautiful then they were to you before. What you do and how you act towards your loved one can greatly affect how they handle their condition... more than you may realize.
- Be Expectant of Changes and Unpredictability: Chronic illnesses and conditions can not only alter one's life dramatically but it can bring certain unexpected changes into it as well. Things you may never have thought of or have been prepared to deal with. But when your loved one is diagnosed with a chronic condition then educate yourself on that condition and expect certain changes and things to happen without warning. Then try to deal with these changes as positively as possible and learn to take it all in stride. Just like in life, things happen. And if you can learn to deal with it effectively then your loved one will ultimately feel more comfortable with you because of how you have handled those situations. Show them you can take it and it will deepen the level of trust and dependability between you and your loved one.
- Show you care! There are soooo many ways you can show a loved one you care. Remember that your loved one is living with new difficulties because of the illness or condition they were diagnosed with. This is hard on them emotionally and sometimes it's hard for them to cope. Having someone in their lives who can SHOW they care will be a most valuable asset to their coping mechanism. Here are some ways to show you care: Learn about their conditon and talk to them about it; don't foget their birthday or other important events in their life; send them a card or letter in the mail; help them with household chores or errands; go with them to doctors appointments; pick up their prescriptions for them; send them some flowers to cheer them up; offer a back or foot rub. These are just examples of the many ways you can show someone you care. As someone living with a chronic condition I can honestly say I wish I had someone in my life who did things like this for me! Don't be like my family-- do these things for your loved one. Believe me, they will genuinely appreciate you for it.
- When the Going Gets Tough-- Stick Around! For many people who are diagnosed with a chronic illness or condition, they find out the hard way that there are ard times in their life. Having someone by their side through the good times and bad can be of great help to them. Show them that you can be there when the going gets tough.. and not only will you be there but you will help them through it.
It takes a big person to be able to handle and deal with someone who lives with a chronic condition. Not everyone is cut out for the job for many can do this if they were just educated on HOW they could be of help. I hope this guide was helpful to you. If it was, please be sure to vote "YES" below, and check out my other guides. I have written many guides on various subjects. Have a wonderful and blessed day!
Guide created: 02/01/09 (updated 02/01/09)
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