I will use the model horse hobby as an example for a transaction that is unsatisfactory.

What should you do when the item arrives and it isn't what you expected?

First and foremost, contact the seller! If the seller never heard from you that you are unhappy, how can anything be resolved? Begin by saying what exactly is not satisfactory. For example, in the model horse trading business, models can be considered new-in-box. There are hobbists that like the box to be in new condition as well as the model that comes in it. So if the box was creased or soiled, say so. Taking a picture of what you found and attaching it in the correspondence is helpful too.

Second, begin by relaying what type of exchange would make you (the buyer) happy again. To continue the example... Ask if another of the same item is available with a better quality box. If not, what other exchange would make you happy? A partial refund? Remember to be fair about the return, the seller has gone through the expense of paying to list the item. It may take two to three different emails between the parties to come to a final agreement. Once the agreement has been reached, be sure to follow up.

At no time should negative feedback be used during the first two phases! This is how many sellers loose a great rating, simply because a buyer didn't make contact or use either of the first two phases to state their remorse.

Finally, when the item has been returned, replaced or kept and partially refunded, then it is time to leave positive feedback. Try to focus on the final outcome, not your initial reaction to first opening the package.

What if the seller doesn't respond in a timely manner or even at all?

If this happens, then you request the seller's phone number. It is an option on Ebay and it sends the seller a message when it is requested, thus alerting them to expect a call and from whom. It is much harder to ignore a phone call than an email. Remember to be polite in your call! No one likes getting an angry person on the other end of the line. It's important to keep your emotion out of the conversation and to focus on the task at hand... to get compensation for a misrepresented item. A calm and organized caller will get a much better response than an angry one (usually hung up on).

If both of the above fail, what then?

Now it is time to file a complaint through PayPal. Only if an agreement can't be made of what to return or refund, should this be done. PayPal is a great back up for your purchases. If you didn't pay through PayPal, you can place a stop payment on a personal check. Some money orders do have stop payment options also, but not always. You'll need to check with the money order representative first. There are times though that the payment is long gone and cashed. If this is the case then you involve Ebay with a filed complaint. Ebay is simply a liason or impartial mediator to see that policies are followed.

In my years of Ebay usage I have only had to call a person twice to resolve an exchange issue, both times the completed transaction was very satisfactory. So please, in the future, before letting your emotions take over and you post negative feedback before doing anything else.... think again. You'll be pleasantly surprised what can be resolved with some good old fashioned communication.