Honoring My Mom

My mother died last year of bone cancer (metastasis from breast). This is what we did to honor her for her funeral.  We were supposed to have a year, but we didn't - so I was glad I started preparing early.   My mom was my best friend and I was proud to do all I could for her memory.  I offer this as a guide to those who's loved ones pass away due to Breast Cancer.   I'd advise you to start early - I started when my mom was diagnosed as terminal, but you may start at anytime.  Most of the items I used may be purchased from EBay, the Breast Cancer Site or obtained from the American Cancer Society.

I got breast cancer information from the American Cancer Society and a local hospital and put it out in a pink lined basket at the funeral (how to do a breast exam shower cards and breast to bone metastasis).  I put up a sign that asked each person to be sure they did their breast exam monthly – yes, the men too.  It is not as common – but it happens.  We had three pink candles surrounded by pink roses on the table.

We placed a pink pillar candle in a fern holder (or you can use a candle holder on a stand) and put a pink rose garland around it.

My niece made pink ribbons for everyone to wear for the service (we cut short pieces of thin pink ribbon and she put a stitch in them to hold it together.  Straight pins were used to attach them to the lapels).  I put this sign by the basket: To honor Mom’s courage in surviving Breast Cancer for 3
This is the side of her mastectomy. Thank You, The Family.  There are also pink ribbon stickers and stick-ons available on EBay.

I got pink ribbon metal pins for the family from a local hospital (they were nice enough to give them to me for free).  I also had the ushers and pall bears wear them. They also wore pink carnation boutonnières.

I bought pink ribbon charm bracelets for my sisters, nieces, step-daughter and my granddaughters.  I got them from a dollar store, but you can find plastic ones from the Breast Cancer Site.   I have tried to visit the site daily this past year to click and help fund mammograms.  They also have pink ribbon Christmas ornaments I bought to give my sisters this year.  These are also available on EBay.

We had some friends sing at the viewing.  The pastor said a few words and a bible verse, then they sang some of mom's favorite songs.  It was really beautiful.

I bought pink ribbon car magnets and we placed them on all the cars in the procession.  Also found at a dollar store, but can find them at the site or EBay too.

I put all her favorite flowers – wild flowers and daylilies on her casket spray (I bought all the flowers and had a florist put it together.  I plan someday to use those flowers to make wreaths for all us girls).  If I was doing the casket spray again - I'd do pink roses or carnations. 

I put a real pink rose (in a water holder) with pink ribbon in her hands.  I found a breast cancer awareness bear at the post office and put him into the casket.  I also got one for each grandchild.  We used her favorite pink ribbon pin on her lapel she got when she first got breast cancer. 

We used breast cancer awareness stamps on the thank you notes.  When I buy stamps, I buy these.  It costs a little extra – but it goes to breast cancer awareness.

I put red roses for each of her children to her right side (I included my step-sisters and step-brother).  Pink roses on the left represented her grandchildren and purple roses above her head for the great-grandchildren.  One white rose was for my step-nephew who died of meningitis at age 2. 

For the registration book I used her special pink ribbon pen she had gotten from the outpatient cancer treatment center.  I attached it to the book with pink ribbon.

In the obituary we asked in lieu of flowers to donate money to the American Cancer Society and I provided envelops at the viewings.

I put pink bows everywhere (pews, etc.)

One of my sisters wrote the poem below.  We copied it on parchment look paper and rolled it into scrolls to give out at the service.  A family member read it at the service.

I bought pink helium balloons and we all released them at the graveside service after each saying a prayer or what we remembered most about mom.  I got enough for the family, but we had some left over for friends.

My mom asked me before she died to do something special for her sister – I enlarged a picture of her at age 18 (how old she was when my aunt was born) to 20x30 and put it in an antique looking rosewood frame.  We put it on an easel and I put a pink rose garland to it (we also tied the balloons to it).  After the service I gave it to my Aunt.

I also had another easel with a black background board provided by the funeral home and put more pictures of the family and mom on it.

The funeral home made a DVD for us with pictures we provided set to music.  One of the pictures had her as a teenager in an angle costume for a Christmas play.  We played it at the viewing.   You can also do this yourself if the funeral home does not provided this service.

Mom had bought a family tree Christmas tree print years ago (names were on the ornaments, stocking, stars, etc.).  My aunt updated it and we put it out on an easel during the viewing.

For the casket cover, I found some breast cancer awareness ribbon fabric and one of the church ladies embroidered her name and birth and death dates on it.  I plan to put it in a flag display box.  One of the home health (which were wonderful) made us a lap quilt from a different pink ribbon material.

We had a pink ribbon engraved on the back of her tombstone.  We also put - Do not weep for me for today I am in heaven with my Lord.

This is all I can remember and it still wasn’t enough to show what a wonderful and special person my mom was.

Ashes and Dust

A new lamb cries as the old lamb dies,
from ashes to ashes, from dust to dust.
The sheep question why, a Shepard so wise,
Turns ashes to sheep, then sheep into dust.

The new lamb knows not the pain of the old,
for he was made new, as the Bible foretold.
The new lamb now dances, all the while singing,
The ultimate gift our Shepard’s soon bringing.

The Shepard tends to the sheep left behind,
Knowing our every need throughout time.
So, follow the Shepard, with undying trust,
for we’re so much more than just ashes and dust.

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I found over 2,500 items for purchase on EBay - so you can find all your needs on EBay.