Tips on how to avoid getting a traffic ticket

Okay, admit it. Even though most of us are not the kind of people who will be showing up on the tv show "Cops" anytime soon, We all have a tendancy to break some basic/minor traffic laws from time to time. And chances are that you have or will at some point get pulled over for a traffic violation.

If you aren't ready to hand over your hard-earned cash to pay the fine you'll want to do all you can to avoid the citation.  Please understand there isn't any guarantee that any of this will work, but by following a few of these suggestions I believe you can reduce the chance of being written up with a ticket.

Of course the easiest way to avoid a ticket is to practice safe driving and obey all the laws and rules of the road.  So if you don't want a ticket, don't do the things that will get you one. And if you insist on drinking and driving.. you do deserve to get a DUI. 

Five rules to avoid a ticket.

1.  Don't attract attention.

Don't do anything to your car that will attract the attention of a police officer. Flashy and bright colors will attract attention. Light colors blend in and dark colors like black or navy look serious.  You will attract less attention in a light or dark color car than in a bright color.

Avoid modifications like neon running lights or thumping bass stereo speakers.  Cops hate tinted windows and will pull you over faster than if you didn't have them. If you have tinted windows and get pulled over, roll your windows down quickly so the officer can see into your car. This will keep him/her relaxed and improve the odds of avoiding that ticket.

Keep your car clean.  If you look like you are a responsible driver the officer will consider you as one unless you do something stupid (read my DUI statement above).

2.  Timing.

It's true that most police departments have quotas.  This means there will be times when an officer is really watching for any cause to write you up.  The first week of the month is when aggressive cops will be writing tickets. The last week of the month is when they are being pressured to complete the monthly quota.  Shift changes are also a heavy ticketing time. Unfortunately it's a little tricky to figure out when the shifts change in major traffic areas.

3.  Talking to the officer.

You obviously don't want to refer to the officer who pulls you over as a "pig" or even as a "cop".  Try to use their proper title. If the uniform has three or more stripes, chance are, he/she is a Sereant. One or two stripes usually indicates a Corporal.  If the uniform doesn't have any stripes use the term "trooper" for a State Police Car or "Deputy for a County Police car. If you aren't sure, just play it safe with "Officer."  And don't treat a female officer any different than you would a male officer.  She'll write you up quickly if you use a term like Ma'am, or worse yet, cutie.

4.  Lying, crying, and begging.

Occassionally you might need to resort to stretching the truth. Keep in mind that if the officer knows you are bluffing you won't pull it off. The key is keeping the lie plausible.  The best lie is that you need to go to the bathroom... real bad!  But for this to work it needs to be the first thing out of your mouth as the officer approaches. Say something like "Officer, I really have to go to the bathroom. Could you please follow me to the nearest rest area?"  Again, if your bladder is full because of your drinking habits, you can plan on peeing your pants before the cop will let you go.  But if you absent-mindedly made an illegal turn or didn't stop long enough at that last stop sign you might get away quickly with a warning.

I have seen crying work for a woman but not for a man.  Sobbing or hypervetilating because your boyfriend just broke up with you or you lost your job might bring about some pity and again a quick warning so you can get on your way.  (The officer doesn't want to be a grief counselor.)

If the cop is intend on writing you up, you might have to resort to the truth and and just plain beg not to get the ticket. It doesn't work too often but it can if you get a sympathetic cop. Just don't let your begging turn into a bribe. Bribes NEVER work.  

5.  Don't be a jerk.

Above all else, when trying to get out of a ticket…

NEVER claim to be a cop. State police associations are pretty tight-knit and most cops know one another. Plus, police work is jargon-heavy and it's easy to trip someone up.

NEVER say, "What's the problem officer?" unless you want a smart-ass reply like, "You." This immediate response most people have has become a cliché for officers. They hate it.

NEVER say, "Was I ________?" (fill in with whatever traffic rule you were violating). It serves as an acknowledgment from you that you knew you were doing something wrong.

NEVER say, "I'm sorry" unless you really mean that you are truly sorry that you have broken the code of honor and ethics bestowed on all drivers when they are admitted by the knightly DMV into the realm of licensed driving. It's trite and usually stands for, "I'm so sorry… that you caught me."

NEVER say, "Do you know so-and so?" Name-dropping usually has no effect on the officer's decision to ticket you, and it might tick him/her off that you're even trying.

NEVER say, "you just stopped me because I'm black, a woman, gay, an Eskimo, etc." If the cop is racist or sexist or phobic, this remark isn't exactly going to help your situation and might serve to anger the officer. And if the officer is not racist or sexist or phobic, you've just accused him/her of it.

NEVER say, "I'll see you in court," "let me see the radar gun" or "give me your badge number." First, these remarks place the officer on defense and a defensive cop is more likely to give you a ticket. As for the radar gun, the cop can make it read whatever (s)he wants it to read from 00 to 135.

NEVER get out of the car unless instructed to do so.

NEVER reach for your pockets or under the seat without first explaining why.

NEVER open your glove box if it has inside it a concealed weapon unless you have warned the cop that it is there and that you have a license to carry it.

NEVER allow your passengers to talk to the officers unless instructed to do so.

NEVER consent to a search of your car without first asking for probable cause.

Finally, the very best thing to remember is that if you don't do illegal things when you drive, you won't get tickets!