Being diagnosed with a chronic illness is a major life changing experience.

A chronic illness is any type of sickness that is expected to last a long time. It doesn't have to be a terminal illness but it can be. There will be long term medical care, usually a need for prescription medication, sometimes an inability to work outside the home or even do normal household chores, sometimes there is some type of loss of body or mental function.

Many people with chronic illnesses don't look like they are sick. This is called an invisible illness. This may make it more difficult to cope with because your friend may hear the people closest to her tell her that she looks great, when she actually doesn't.

So how do you help someone with a chronic illness?

• Call before you visit - always. Napping or not feeling up to company due to pain or side effects of a medication may cause your friend to want to be left alone.
• Instead of telling your friend or family that you're willing to help, actually reach out. Call and ask if you can bring a meal over, see if you can babysit for a few hours, ask if you can pick up some groceries while you're at the store, etc.
• Be sure to have the phone numbers of close family members of your friend. If she hasn't picked up the phone all morning and you're worried you can call someone.
• Offer to drive your friend to her medical appointments. You can even keep track of them along with her so you know if you're available ahead of time.
• Mail a card every once in a while, especially funny ones. That can help lift her spirits.
• Tell your friend that you're praying for her. That is definitely a way to let her feel loved.
  
• Don't tell her that she looks great. Compliment her smile or her eyes. Say something nice about her outfit. Tell her that she made a nice lunch. This way it feels more geniune.
• Keep her up to date on the social events she used to enjoy. Continue to invite her to parties, lunches, the movies, but don't get discouraged if she says "no" or if she backs out at the last minute.
• Ask her to do something for you. You can ask her to pray for you, to help you chose an outfit or to help you to make a decision. Keep in mind her physical or mental limitations.
• Laugh with her!
• Tell her she's a great friend and mean it.
• Learn about her illness(es) so you can understand what she is going through.
• Don't tell her that you know of the latest cure or your cousin's neighbor's best friend has the same thing and this is how she got better. You can investigate cures or treatments but really look into things before you mention it to your friend. Ask her family members if this has been tried or discussed by her doctor before you say anything. It can get very annoying to listen to people who know that you can get better if you only did...
• Be there emotionally. Be a sounding board, but also know when it's time to say that her complaints are getting too much. She may be depressed and becoming self-absorbed. It helps if this comes from someone who cares. Now that's being a true friend.