Reading and Writing Deliberately

If you are not interested in improving your communication skills, you most likely will not find this guide helpful. I am telling you this up front so that you don’t waste your time reading it. However, if you would like to improve your communication skill and have a few minutes to spare, read on.

Why Does It Matter?

I cannot tell you how often I have heard people say that good grammar doesn’t matter. When it comes to writing, they find punctuation, sentence structure, and capitalization to be a waste of time. They say that as long as the content is there, it doesn’t matter how it is presented. I think they are mistaken.

I will give you a few examples of why having unstructured content is like having no content at all.

When your words are all run together without the things I mentioned before, many people will tune out at first sight. They will veer away from anything that looks like a mess. So, they never get to the content.

Try reading the following:

reading and riting delibertly if you are not interested in improving your communication skills you mos likely will not find this guide helpful i am telling youthis up front so that you dont wast your time reding itif you would like improve your communications skill and have a few minutes to spare read on why does it mater i cannot tell you how often i had hear peolpe say that good grammar dont matter when it comes to writing they find punctuation sentence structure and capitalization to be a wast of time hey say that as long as the content is there it dont matter how ot id presented i think there mistaken i will give you a few example of why having unstructure content is like having no content at all when you words are all run together without the things I mention before many people will tune out at first sight they will veer away from anything that looks like a mess.

Now try this one:

improve writin ???  read
don’t care… don’t
helpful? You see
grammer… punctuation… structure ... ???
matter??

Were those difficult to read? Did you even actually read them? Do you think my examples are extreme?  Let me tell you, I have seen much worse right here on eBay. I have seen this in listings, guides, reviews, and blog posts. Many of the people who write in this manner wonder why no one votes on their guides or why few people respond to their blog posts.

When you write in this manner, you send a message out to your audience. That message is that you don’t care enough about your subject to concern yourself with how you present it. If you couldn’t be bothered to write it with some consideration, why should anyone bother to read it? Why would anyone take that seriously?

If you went to your local book store and purchased a book, would writing like that be acceptable to you? If your daily paper looked like that, would you keep your subscription? Would you go to a university that had its information written like that in its About Us pamphlet? I suspect your answer to all of those is "no." So, if you wouldn’t tolerate it, why would you expect anyone else to?

When you speak, do you talk in circles? Do you find that people misunderstand what you are trying to say? Do you find yourself stopping in mid-sentence to go back and restate something? Do you find that you are stuttering? Do you find yourself repeating the same phrase two or three times in a row? Do you speak in incomplete sentences? Do you mumble and trail in and out of sentences? Do you find people looking at you like you have three heads when you speak?

It is exhausting, at times, to decipher what people are trying to say. Many people just open their mouths for the sake of talking without having any idea what it is they want to say, let alone how they want to say it. They just start spitting out words that somehow connect,  yet don’t… or they don’t seem to. They break silence and begin sentences with words like “no,” “nah,” “yeah,” and “yes” as if they are responding to something.

Miscommunication is probably one of the leading catalysts for arguments. People forget something very important. When they speak or write there is generally a recipient who will interpret what they say. The more precisely you express what it is you are trying to get across the more closely your audience will receive it in the way you intend. The old adage, “say what you mean and mean what you say” actually means something.

Solutions

When I write and when I speak I put thought into whatever I am doing before I do it and while I am doing it. I think about what it is I want to say and I am careful to say it in the way I intend it. I call this “speaking and writing deliberately.” That does not mean that I never confuse anyone. I do. That does not mean that I never misstate. I do. But it isn’t for lack of trying to get my point across.

So many people, as I have mentioned, just speak. They use clichés or phrases they have heard without giving any consideration to what they are actually saying. The example that comes to mind is the phrase “I couldn’t care less.” So many people say “I could care less.” They say it that way because that is what they have heard or that is what they think they heard. But when you actually think about it you realize those two statements mean entirely different things.

A common problem in written communication is that people type what they hear in their heads as they are typing. Why is this a problem? It is a problem because they are typing what they hear not what they mean. I will give you several examples of this.

When people think of or say the words should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve, they are hearing should of, could of, and would of. Unfortunately, that is often how they write the words. It is a natural mistake because the sound of the “‘ve,”  when it follows the “d,” sounds like an actual word - "of." When I think during writing, I try to break up all contractions. I try to avoid them whenever possible because they can throw you for a loop as in this example.

Another contraction that gets obliterated or omitted all together is “you’re.” This of course, stands for "you are." However, when some people say it, it sounds not much different from “your.” So many times “your” is used instead. This brings me to “they’re.” The same problem exists here. This one is a bit more complex though.

This particular word brings into light a series of words that present problems in that people confuse one for the other regularly. Again, I attribute this to the fact that people are writing based on what they hear in their heads rather than thinking about what it is they are saying. The easiest way for me to go through these is to list them with their proper use.

Their – This is possessive. This is what you use when referring to something belonging to more than one person. Have you seen their house?
There – This is used for proximity or location.  Put that there.
They’re – They are. Plural subject and verb. They are going to the movies.
There’re – There are. This one will be discussed in more detail in the next paragraph.
Theirs  - Again possessive. That is theirs.
There’s – There is. This one deserves a bit of attention of its own.

“There’s” is commonly used in place of “there’re.” It almost seems that “there’re” is disappearing from the lips of all people. The reason that people use this incorrectly, again, is because they apply no forethought to what they are about to say. This problem is common both in speaking and in writing. When you are about to use this word think about what you are about to say. Are you talking about one thing? Are you talking about more than one thing? Here is a good example of one way people err with these words.

There’re (there are) a lot of nice things in this store.

The word “lot” is singular even though it means a group of things. Therefore, this sentence should be “There’s a lot…”

By the way, there is no such word as “alot.” It is “a lot.”

Now for another example:

There’s nice people here. Would you say “there is nice people here?” It is “there are nice people here,” thereby, “there’re nice people here.” This example brings us straight to another commonly misused word in written communication:

Here – Proximity or location
Hear – A sense. What you do with your ears.

Again this presents a common problem similar to that in the examples above. “Here’s” and “here’re” are commonly used in one another’s stead.

There are so many words like this. I am going to mention one more set of words here, because by now, I think you get the gist of what I mean in the above examples. This set stands alone because they sound nothing alike. There are three words: “because,” "as," and “since.” People commonly use “since” in place of "because" or in place of “as.” What will help is if you remember that “since” is time related.

Correct use - It has been a long time since I last saw you.
Incorrect use – Since you are going anyway, pick up some toilet paper.
Correct use – As you are going anyway, pick up some toilet paper.
Incorrect use – I decided to stay a while since I had nothing to do for the afternoon.
Correct use – I decided to stay a while because I had nothing to do for the afternoon.

This may all seem nitpicky to you. But what you find is that when people stop thinking about the little things that they are saying, they eventually stop think about the big things. Finally, they stop thinking about the entirety. And, therein lies the problem.

As for punctuation and capitalization, that boils down to putting forth the effort to do it. Honestly, how difficult is it to insert a period or to hold the “shift” key while typing? I realize that punctuation can be a bit more complex than that, but it is a good start. I will leave that at that.

Finally, use spell check and proof read. Almost everything that we use these days for written communication has some spell checker built in. Use it! But, when you use it, realize that it won’t catch everything. You will have to proofread on top of using spell check. Some of the common things that spell check will miss are:

an instead of and, and instead of an
of instead of have
to or too instead of top, top instead of to, to instead of too

I think you get the picture. Proofread aloud. Actually pay attention to what you are reading. It is also a good idea to get someone else to proofread for you. Our eyes play tricks on us. When we read familiar material, our eyes read what they expect to read rather than what is actually written.

It takes a great deal of practice to refine these skills. And, none of us are perfect. We will make mistakes. I do all the time. However, it is worth the effort to at least try to improve. Speaking and writing deliberately can make a world of difference in how you are received.

I reserve the right to be human and err. Nothing here was written to intentionally misinform or otherwise mislead.
© 2006 Trina Hoaks