How can we continue the reading connection after children have passed the toddler stage, and maintain that special interaction as they grow to their school-aged and teenaged years? Most parents routinely read books with children in early childhood- fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and such. Most of us are not teachers- we read the book, we start another one; often we read the same ones over and over until the children can recite them with us. This has an important place in learning language, and provides a wonderful opportunity for parents and children to interact socially, as well.

So, how do you continue shared reading as the children age? First, set aside your adult taste in literature because it is an acquired taste! If the goal is to facilitate communication, and for the child to grow with a love for books, then it will be necessary for you, at least initially, to read what kids like, and what’s popular. Some of them
Tales to Give You  Goosebumps  (RL Stein)- Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilet (Dav Pilkey). ,Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus (Barbara Park) . I once passed these books by because they are not “the classics”- you know- Heidi, Swiss Family Robinson, Black Beauty. As part of the give and take of shared reading, you will also have a chance to introduce your child to some of your favorites (patience!), once you have established the common denominator of shared reading,

When I was faced with trying to communicate with a 12 year old boy in my counseling internship, I found that he was very interested in Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling, so I got a copy and started to read it. I really liked the book, and wondered how it could be used to break the ice. I read some information about bibliotherapy, and began to see the possibilities. There isn’t space to fully discuss how I analyzed Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone chapter by chapter to find real-life universal themes. Chapter One will have to suffice.

“The Boy Who Lived” is the title of Chapter One, and tells of the orphaned Harry Potter's arrival to live with his relatives, the Dursleys. It explores the theme of how we view others who are different from ourselves in the context of how the Dursleys, who are Muggles (humans), view Harry and his parents who were magical folk (wizards and witches). It is a universal theme that applies to differences - rich and poor, black and white, Christian and non-Christian, etc. I read the Chapter; the boy had read the Chapter, and we discussed it. I didn't structure the discussion, but brought up the universal themes as a natural part of the discussion. The conversation went beyond the book, as the boy was reminded of events and themes in his life. I believe that we both looked forward to those conversations, and both learned from them.

With preparation, and the right mindset, this could also work very well in a parent and child situation, whether the child is home-schooled or not. The beauty of it is its simplicity, and how easily it can be tailored to different age groups and intellectual levels. For example, Junie B. Jones Has a Monster under Her Bed by Barbara Park is suitable for boys and girls at about Kindergarten to Second Grade levels, depending on reading level and maturity. In the book, a boy tells Junie that everyone has a monster under their bed and he has some good evidence to support his assertion. The book tells in a very funny way how we come to believe things that aren't true and also how Junie learns to recognize the truth about monsters. The best part, though, is that the characters are so real - they are counterparts to the bullies and rich spoiled kids and grouchy adults that live in every child's world. As you are discussing the book, you may hear some of your child’s important stories that can help you to help your child negotiate the inevitable bumps in the road...

There are a few important caveats to keep in mind when using this method (indeed any method for establishing a rapport with another). #1- this is not the time for preaching or lecturing. It is more important to communicate than to be right; keep it fun so the child looks forward to your discussions. #2- If a problem is revealed, such as it turns out that your child is having a problem at school with another child; be sure to communicate that you can always be trusted with that information, and resist the urge to solve the problem for him or her. Practice a few scenarios, do a little brainstorming, but initially, give support rather than jumping in to solve the problem. Of course there are exceptions to every rule; some problems need intervention right away- but you know what they are. #3- Be sensitive to how much homework the child has so your shared reading doesn’t become another chore that takes away from playtime and friends. It may be that you will have a lot of little conversations over breakfast or before bed, rather than a half hour all at once. #4- They may want to include a best friend, or a sibling who is reading the book, in your discussion. Be flexible- don’t let disappointment that it isn’t just the two of you distract you from the goals you have set- to keep the lines of communication open, and to foster a love of reading!