I was recently asked by one of my frequent buyers 'where do I get all the stuff I sell?'.  Before I realized it,  I had written back to him the following and I think it might be a "shared" experience with many of you fellow eBayer sellers.

I am finding that my clients have a lot of valuable "stuff" that they think is quite valuable but they don't know what to do with all the valuable "stuff" that they have. They have had the "stuff" for a long time and are still getting more "stuff" to "stuff" into their homes.  Many people (most I think - including myself) have way too much "stuff " in their houses and as they approach the age of 70-75 they start to think about moving into smaller houses in warmer climates, losing their mobility, having to hire health care people to come into their homes and of course, the whole 'passing away' thing.  This makes them look at all their "stuff" and wonder what will happen to it all.  This causes unhealthy stress, worry and frustration.  So maybe they start to give it away to friends and family.  They start with a single watch or bracelet and then they realize that that "gift" didn't make a dent in the sheer volume of "stuff" in the closet -- so some of them get more aggressive.  The more they give away - the more they find out they have. They also find out that their kids are not really into the RR photos like grandpa was. Reality sets in... They find out that homespun wool can get mice in it after 15 years in the attic.  The idea of just throwing it all away is terrible and imagining a dump truck at their house the day after their funeral is even worse. So they take the horse by the reins and gain power by determining what happens to their things.  There is power in making a few extra dollars.  AND there is pleasure in knowing that someone wants their "stuff".  It is comforting to know the thing will be preserved and appreciated.
 

Anyway - by the time people are about 80-85 -- they no longer care about the stuff -- they just leave it for the next generation to "deal with."  Sure - they feel guilty about it and they feel it is/was a waste of money and resources but they (in general I am speaking) just don't have the energy or wherewith all to mess around with it.  The kids end up inheriting a pile of stuff that they were told all their lives was "valuable."  They are not interested -- never were -- just humoring the old man. BUT now they are stuck with it.  Out of respect they will never get rid of it either -- but it will stay in the box in the basement where good old Dad put it 50 years ago. Until the basement floods or the house is sold -- when it will then be unceremoniously carted away to the dump or the thrift store.

 

I think this is sad and wrong. I think we all own our own stuff and we should be responsible for it.  We can pick and choose what we take care of and what we live with. If we have too much stuff -- it becomes a heavy weight to carry around. The minute that something becomes a burden -- the "library" of antique encyclopedias is now being stored in boxes in the basement as well as the attic.  OR one of my favorites -- excess Christmas ornaments -- enough to decorate 3 houses so you rotate which ones you will use this year.  If you only look at something or touch something once every 2-3 years -- sell it.  If you haven't touched something in 5 years I think you should just give it away.  If you have walking paths in the basement in-between boxes waist high -- you have a "stuff" problem.  The time to deal with it is now when you are still able to walk, still able to lift the boxes and still able to remember exactly what it is and find a new home for it. If you don't know anyone that wants it -- try to sell it. 

 

NOW - I do think family heirlooms are wonderful treasures and if a person is lucky enough to own such an item they should respect it by properly displaying it which does not mean keeping it in a box in the attic for 40 more years.  If someone doesn't have the time to buy a shadow box to display grandma's 1900s Victorian lace work but instead keeps in a box under the stairs, they are not appreciating it nor properly taking care of the item.  If they can't afford the shadow box -- they should make sure it goes to a member of the family or a museum that has the means to properly care for it OR consider selling it to someone who can properly take care of it. Life is just too short and unpredictable to squirrel things away until they turn to dust.

 

Unfortunately, all this is much easier said than done as none of us wish to imagine our lives ending.  But the old saying that you can't take it with you is unavoidably true.  I try to imagine what someone will think of me after I die by looking my own accumulated "stuff".  Do I really want them to think I collected 300 mediocre dolls?  No, I want them to think I had the most wonderful collection of 25 of the nicest examples of turn of the century Kewpie dolls they have ever seen in one place and the antique cherry cabinet they are displayed in is the finest example of Philadelphia Colonial Cabinetry they have ever seen (I am making all this up by the way).  So I would sell 275 of the lesser dolls and buy that fabulous display cabinet to properly display the 25 very BEST ones. That is how I would want to be remembered Quality versus Quantity in this example.  Perhaps someone wants to be remembered as Generous rather than Miserly.  I can go on and on, but you get the gist...

We each need to remember that what we leave behind will be our legacy - keep it simple, or make a statement.  We all have the power to make a choice today but we simply may not have the power tomorrow. It is time to think about what to do with your "stuff" now. Whether you choose to give, sell or keep,  my humble advice is to do it now while you have the power to clearly make those choices and the ability to enjoy the results. Whether it is a smiling grandson or a bronze plaque at the museum or a few extra dollars in the vacation cookie jar.