Not a day goes by that I am not shocked by the rampant anger that exists on ebay. A glance at the feedback of a few ebayers will show you comments dripping with venom interspersed with glowing accolades.  I liken the anger to road rage and for good reason: it is every bit as mindless, spontaneous and childish as flipping off someone who just cut you off in traffic.  The rules changed in spring 2008 and now sellers cannot leave negative feedback for buyers. But there are ways around that.  I'll get to that in a minute.

An overview: Outrageous indignation falls mostly into three categories: payment, shipping and perceived quality.  That last issue is too complex to address thoroughly in this guide, so I will focus on payment and shipping.

PAYMENT TERMS are given in each ebay listing and it is up to the buyer to choose a method.  Where we run into problems is when a bidder wins an auction and then realizes the payment method they prefer is not accepted.  Still, buyer and seller usually get that resolved unless the buyer sends a personal check.  Many buyers do not like waiting around two or three weeks for the check to clear, they get impatient, they leave less than glowing feedback. More common:  slow payment or no payment. The most likely culprits are new ebayers who forgot that they bid and hence they forget to pay.  Or they have buyer's remorse and hope the whole thing will go away. But it won't, because SURPRISE! The seller can obtain the buyer's full name, address and phone number.  Most won't bother to call.  Some will.  And it may not be pretty.  Today, non-paying bidders (NPB's) can no longer receive bad feedback, but they can receive an Unpaid Item Strike when the seller files for the commission refund. It will not appear on the buyer's feedback page but you do not want these on your record.  Having two of them in a single month can prevent you from bidding on some auctions (mine, for example). Too many of these and you are drummed out of ebay.  If the buyer is lucky, the saga ends before the drumroll.

One reason why buyers may not pay is that they do not receive an invoice.  That's because their Internet Service Provider or email service is blocking spam so diligently that it blocks ebay invoices as well.  Any list of feedback comments will often show such comments as, "Sent five emails. No response.  NPB."  The buyers retort, "I never got a single email!"  That's not a valid excuse in the eyes of ebay.  If you bid, you are supposed to monitor your wins and pay up.  That's assuming you do not come down with the flu, get into a car accident or get divorced. Day to day life presents us all with the occasional crisis and it's hard enough to get through the day, let alone pay our bills on time. Sellers in a life crisis can post a message that appears on each listing stating they are on vacation and will conduct business when they return, but buyers do not have this option.  A few days elapse.  A few transactions go awry.  Next thing you know, an ebayer with near-flawless feedback is booted out of ebay.

ON TO SHIPPING.  If the listing states that the seller usually ships within a week, the buyer can expect the seller to honor that.  But it's always the seller's call as to when to ship. I have had buyers tell me, "Ship this on Monday."  EXCUSE ME?  Buyers have no jurisdiction in this matter. The seller is supposed to ship according to terms and (alas!) some buyers do not read the terms and get angry if the package doesn't arrive within 45 minutes. Not you, of course. YOU are patient and adorable. I am talking about those OTHER buyers. The mean ones.

This rule may seem awfully lax, but if the product doesn't arrive within 30 days, buyers may file a report with ebay.  If it's insured, being reimbursed is not difficult if you don't mind filling out forms longer than your SAT exam.  Uninsured?  That's bad news for the buyer, especially if the seller paid for delivery confirmation.  And a smart seller WILL pay for one to prevent such disputes as....I shipped it last Tuesday. ...No, you didn't. ...Yes, I did. ...Well, it's not here yet, you thief.  ....Jerk! 

SLOW SHIPPING THAT ISN'T THE SELLER'S FAULT:   The seller ships.  The post office is closed due to a holiday. The buyer starts complaining, "Has this shipped yet?" Seller points out, "I sent you an email stating I shipped on Tuesday." Buyer didn't get that email because their ISP is blocking it as spam.   Suddenly the package arrives, almost as if it were going to do so all along!  A miracle!  Too late. Buyer is miffed and leaves venomous feedback.  Seller has documented proof of date of payment, when payment cleared, date shipped, etc.  Buyer doesn't care, feels misunderstood.  Both get out weapons of mass destruction.  If you see feedback in which a seller lists the confirmation #, plug that number into the USPS postal service tracking page. If it shows the package arrived on date/time in Springfield, USA, you can pretty well bank on it.  Of course, seller can no longer leave a negative for unruly buyers. But a seller can leave a comment under the buyer's feedback and we will be seeing more and more of that.

We may also see more feedbacks that are listed as a "positive" but state something truly negative; these are against ebay rules and may be removed with ebay's permission.  Good luck.  Sellers may also report buyers for any number of sins, but when they do so--and they give extensive proof of those violations--ebay may or may not take any action.  I believe ebay sometimes notes these transgressions in a file and waits for them to accumulate before taking any action. If so, I have contributed a fair number to said files and I pray the scales tip in my favor some day and that these buyers are drummed out.  The difficult people only comprise a small percentage of ebayers--maybe 1% for me--but those 1% are vile.  I see the sellers in the audience nodding their heads. You know what I'm talking about.

SIMILAR SCENARIO:  Buyer wants to save money and asks for cheapest possible shipping, then frets when package takes so long to arrive.  What to do? Seller can't go back in time and change the shipping method or make it hurry up.  Just trust me when I say that Parcel Post from Chicago to California the week before Christmas is a really bad idea.  In the 4,000+ transactions I've conducted through ebay, half.com, amazon and my web site, I've only seen a few responses about the yarn color being a little different than expected.  And I've never had anyone complain about my book packaging. No. The cranky emails I get are about the shipping and it is almost always beyond my control.  I shipped!  I shipped! I swear I shipped! I have proof that I shipped it!  Buyer won't believe me.  I have the highest moral integrity of almost anyone you know, yet I have been called a liar dozens of times by ebay buyers.  Really irritates me. The package virtually always arrives eventually, but by that time, both buyer and seller are snarling. Personally, I am glad the post office did away with global economy shipping; six months to reach Australia was ridiculous.

BUYERS TEND TO HAVE HIGHER FEEDBACKS than sellers.  You might want to take that into consideration when deciding whether or not to do business with an ebayer. Why would it be higher for buyers?  Because a buyer's only job is to try not to get divorced that week so that they can pay on time. (C'monnnnnn, look at your spouse.  They were nice at one time, weren't they? Maybe when they shoved wedding cake into your mouth?) 

With sellers, the bar is set much higher. The seller must acquire desirable merchandise at low cost, increase the asking price just enough to make a profit but not so high that buyers balk, describe it in accurate detail, ship that thing out rain or shine or divorce or flu, pray it doesn't break in transit, then hope the buyer "liked" it.  I once saw a buyer leave negative feedback for a seller because--despite an accurate description and prompt shipping--the buyer didn't like the recipes in the cookbook she ordered.  HELLO?  The seller didn't write the book! But to be fair, the buyer is often selecting merchandise based on a drab photo and scant information.  It is easy to get burned unless you read the listing carefully.  Hence, I urge all buyers to read the listing and yet you would be amazed how many do not. 

AVOID SHOOT-OUTS ON THE EBAY HIGHWAY:   Buyers, sorry to sound like a broken record, but please, READ the listing.  I continually get questions by email that are answered in the listing and according to the powerseller forum, this is true for most sellers.  Reading the listing is the best way to save everyone time and avoid disappointment.  More on that in a minute. Secondly, pay quickly.  Third, if you are having buyer's remorse, don't pretend the whole thing will go away. The seller will not forget. Talk to your seller and be nice about it.  If you intend to shimmy out of your commitment for no good reason, get iron bars installed on your windows. 

If you go through with the deal and get stuck with a piece of junk, do not air this grievance in feedback without first writing a polite note to the seller.  Think before you say anything and think again before you click on send.  My experience has been that a seller with 99% or better feedback and more than 100 transactions under the belt IS likely to resolve any issues with you. On the other hand, if you dash in with both pistols firing, you can kiss off any notion of a refund. 

Sellers:  If you mess up, admit it and make it right.  If you are doing your best and someone rants at you anyway--they will sooner or later--just maintain your integrity such that you can look back on this incident and say, "I did what I could without being a doormat."  The glowing comments will outweigh the negative ones.  If they don't, maybe it's time to cash in your chips and do something else for a living.

REALITY CHECK: My second biggest headache, after the shipping arguments that are beyond my control, are the buyers who bid quickly, get their merchandise, then frown. They race to the computer and read the listing carefully for the first time. If they are mature, they will accept the consequences for their haste.  The others will email the seller, "But I thought I was bidding on a real Cadillac, not a toy one!"  To which the seller will politely reply, "Well, notice in that one paragraph where it says the car is two inches long?  And did you see that it was listed under toys?"  Uh-huh.  I'm sure I'll have more to add later, but right now, I gotta run to the post office in my two-inch car and use up a lot of gas to justify the handling charge that nobody thinks I should charge.  Sheesh.  Be careful out there, ebayers.  And play nice.  --d.j. runnels, Life's an Expedition Trading Post (c) 2006-2008