What exactly is retail therapy? It is defined as shopping with the primary purpose of improving one's disposition or mood. I can openly and honeslty admit that I frequently suffer from this sometimes wallet-breaking condition. Some may even call it my wallet-breaking addiction. I love to shop.... I just cannot help it, but it happens most when I am stressed or something bad has happened to me.

You know how the saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!"

That's me..... to a T!

For some people these excursions are completely based on impulse. In my case, I go out and spend money on things I tell myself I need. Like another box of paperclips because they are on sale at 10 cents off the normal price. Paperclips? For real? Ok, so perhaps I really did not need those paperclips, but I told myself that I could put them in my home office supply cabinet, and because of the savings, I was thinking ahead for when I happen to use up the other 10 boxes of paperclips that I already had. Hmmm..... buy hey, they were 10 cents off.

Then there are times when I am PMS-ing and retain water. I cannot seem to fit into any of my clothes and feel the most desperate urge to get something that fits. So guess what? I go shopping. Then I find that pair of pants that I just had to have, and once I put them on and see that they fit much better then the ones that I could not squeeze into earlier that day, I become excited and instantly feel better. Well, for a minute at least. I then begin to think about the fact that I had to buy a size bigger. A WHOLE SIZE BIGGER---- and guess what? I get depressed again. So because I am depressed, I now have the urge to buy something, anything, that will make me feel better.

It's a most vicious cycle, it really is, and for some women this problem can be potentially devestating financially. I can be honest and tell you there are more times than I can count where I have spent money, money I did not have to spend, on things I did not need. All because I was in a mood and needed that oh so desperate RETAIL THERAPY.

For some people, shopping is a social earmark of their addiction. Not only do they feel better because they are shopping, but just being out and about in the world with other people it makes them feel better socially. I can agree with this since there have been times where I did not feel like going out but felt better once I was.

Then there are the anti-social shopping addicts: the internet shoppers. I mostly classify myself as being in this category since I LOVE SHOPPING ONLINE, particularly on eBay where I feel a literal rush winning auctions and getting items at great prices. I LOVE not having to leave the comfort of my home where I can browse stores online at any hour of the day in my PJ's, and guess what? When you shop online you will never see a sign saying: "No Shirt, No Shoes, NO SERVICE!"
Even better is the fact that it comes to me.... no waiting in line, no lifting or carrying bags or packages, and no hassles (usually).

How common is this addiction? More common than you might think! Often as destructive as compulsive eating or gambling, this newly dubbed "designer" disorder, or syndrome, is harder to spot--the afflicted appear attractive, successful and always pulled-together. But many are wearing their paychecks on their backs and driving cars they can't afford. Some rely on payday loans or use credit cards to finance a loaf of bread. As they spiral into debt, credit is wrecked. Homes are lost. Relationships suffer. After recognizing my own level of destruction, I started to research on how many people this affects. I was surprised to find out that over 13 million adults currently suffer from this sometimes devestating obsession. When I read about women who literally were over $50,000 in debt becuase of their compulsive shopping bahavior, women who typically earn less than $30,00 per year, this scared me. Could this really be me? Am I that bad? Do I need help?

Hmmmm....... it really got me to thinking. How can I change my habits to reflect in a more positive light? Can I even change my habit?

The answer is YES! Each person is different, but for me I knew it was something I could not eliminate completely out of my life. I had to think long and hard about how I could effectively utilize my shopping addiction without it causing any sort of harm. My solution will not work for everyone, only the ones who are determined and those who admit they have a problem. Admiting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

What I did was take an honest look at how much money I spent because of my compulsions. It was alot, but not so much so compared to other people with a more serious form of this problem. My problem is defiinately manageable with the right attitude and the right tools.

I formed a plan. First, I had my husband establish a budget. This budget is a monthly allowance that he gives me so that I could indulge on a smaller scale. Ok, yes, it was tough at first, but it really improved my husbands happiness, therefore helping me in the long run.

Then, I began to look at other types of speding that I HAD to do like grocery shopping. I never really thought about it before, but I actually decided to try grocery shopping when I had an irresistable urge to shop and I was able to effectively kill two birds with one stone. #1, I went shopping! Shopping!  It helped me relieve my urge because of the fact I was spending money. #2, it was effectively spending money because I had to get food anyway. So it turned out to be a win, win situation for me. My urge was filled and I completed a household task that I normally hate to do. Yippppeeeee!

Next, I started to shop more productively. Kids need clothes...... I'm on a tight budget. I started going to garage sales and the local Goodwill. For those of you people like me who think down on Garage Sales and thrift stores, let me tell you what you are missing out on!!!! Seriously! I am now proud to admit that I LOVE garage sales and I LOVE shopping at thrift stores just as much as I love shopping on eBay. You can find the most incredible items at unbelieveable prices. Where else can you find a gently used DVD player for only $8.00? Not at Sears. Not at Best Buy. I found mine at a garage sale and it works GREAT!
My local goodwill is located in a more affluent city and whoa! Let me tell you.... I constantly find clothing that are BRAND NEW with tags still on them for $3.25 each! For example, just a month or so ago I was given a budget of $20.00 to get some new spring dresses for my daughter. With her growing so quickly I learned to LOVE the thrift store because you get 4x more items than you would anywhere else. So, I go shopping at the Goodwill with my $20.00. I can home with 3 BRAND NEW DRESSES for my daughter. All of them still with tags, and all of them were from Gymboree. If you know of Gymboree, you know that you will expect to spend at least $60.00 for three dresses, if not more, plus tax. I paid $3.00 each for those dresses---a total of $9.00!
At the checkout I spotted a COACH purse in the display case. I asked to see it. It, too, was BRAND NEW with TAGS and was authentic. Guess how much????? $12.00! I snatched that purse up and paid for all my items. I came home and listed that same purse on eBay and it ended up selling for $78.00. This is shopping SMART and it's being PRODUCTIVE. I had things that I needed to buy. I had a very tight budget. I shopped smart and got the most bang for my buck because I lowered my standards and shopped at those dreaded second hand stores. I am now addicted to them.

So, in essence, if you find yourself or a loved one of the Retail Therapy Syndrome, then take action. You can take measures to really help yourself out by shopping smart. This system will not work for everyone, or maybe not anyone except for me, but it's an idea you can consider. I am not a doctor in any way, shape, or form, but speak from the heart and wanted to share my experiences. I hope you enjoyed it.