As an instructor and mentor to many eBay buyers and sellers over the years, one of the most often asked questions posed during training, and in emails sent to me, relates directly to eBay buyer and seller etiquette.  For the most part, etiquette simply boils down to using common sense and proper decorum.  Unfortunately, there are times when tempers flair, feelings are hurt, and misunderstandings simply fly out of control.  In the end, who really comes out better?  No one wins....

Since this continues to be such a hot topic, I decided to write this guide for both new and veteran eBay members - simply taking the topic from inside a small seminar to a public venue.  Looking for a seller's guide to eBay selling etiquette?  Be sure to watch for an upcoming guide.

Before Bidding

Found an item of interest you would like to place a bid on, or wish to Buy It Now?  Before clicking on the 'Place Bid' or 'Buy It Now' buttons, read the entire listing before proceeding.  Be sure you have absolutely no questions before bidding or buying, reviewing the following:

• Item Description - New, Used, Condition, Size, Dates, Disclaimers, etc.?  Is there a photograph of the item being offered for sale?

• Shipping & Handling - How item is shipped, if shipping charges seem reasonable, and how fast seller ships item (1 business day, 2 business days, and so on)?  Where is item being shipped from, US or international?  Shipped from different location than where seller is located?

• Payment Terms - What forms of payment seller accepts, is immediate payment required or is there a prescribed period within which winning buyer has to submit his/her payment, does seller ship to unconfirmed addresses, etc.?

• Returns Policy - Does seller offer a return policy, the requirements, exchange-refund-or merchandise credit, or item sold 'As Is,' buyer reimbursed for return shipping?

• Miscellaneous - Are there any other details not addressed in the main headings such as 'pre-sale,' 're-conditioned item,' 're-stocking fees,' etc.?

• Seller Feedback Ratings - Review seller's feedback.  If negative or neutral remarks, take note of the buyers' reasons for such remarks and how often less than positive feedback ratings are posted. 

• Detailed Seller Ratings - Note ratings for 'Item as described,' 'Communication,' 'Shipping time' and 'Shipping and handling charges'.

When you place a bid or commit to buying the item immediately (i.e. 'Buy It Now') you are agreeing to the terms of the listing, thus forming a binding contract between you and the seller.  If you are uncertain as to any information provided within the listing, or have any questions...email the seller using the 'Ask Seller a Question' BEFORE bidding or buying!

Should you email the seller and not receive a response before the listing ends, do not bid or buy immediately just because you don't want to miss out on winning the item.  If you do, you agree to all of the terms of the listing no matter what.

A Special Note About eMailing Sellers

When emailing sellers, always communicate via 'Ask Seller a Question,' or through your 'Messages' folder from your 'My eBay' page.  This provides a record of communications within eBay should there be a dispute of any kind, and most importantly your messages are more secure than through other email programs.  If you receive an email in your other email programs appearing to be from eBay or an eBay member, be sure to check your 'Messages' folder to verify it's authenticity.  If it does not appear in your 'Messages' folder, then send the message to spoof at eBay dot com to have it's authencity verified before responding, opening any attachments, or clicking on any links within the message.  

Shipping & Handling

When noting the shipping and handling charges for a particular item, should the charges appear excessive, ask the seller about the charges in advance.  Is the item a collectible or glass requiring heavier packaging for safe transit?  Is the item large, bulky, or considered over-sized (and/or exceeds weight limits for standard shipping)?  Does the item have multiple components requiring shipping in two or more packages or containers?  Is the item being shipped from a rural area where shipping may be at a higher rate?  If you do not receive a response or are not satisfied with the shipping and handling amount....do not bid on the item, simply put.

Should you move forward with your purchase and later find that the shipping and handling were in fact excessive, verify with the USPS, FedEx, UPS or whatever shipping source the seller used for transit.  Document the actual shipping estimate and email the seller for a refund of the overcharge.  Do not be hostile.  If the seller won't budge, then email eBay.  However, if you thought the charges were excessive before you placed a bid on the item, and chose to move forward anyway, you may or may not receive any assistance from eBay.

Keep in mind that a portion of the shipping and handling charges assessed by sellers usually includes a small surcharge (handling fee) to help defray their costs for packaging products (boxes, envelopes, shipping labels, tape, etc.).  This is not unusual!

If you would normally purchase shipping insurance for an item like the one you are interested in buying, but the seller isn't offering it, you need to notify the seller that you want to purchase insurance and to invoice you accordingly.  The small price, in the big scheme of things, for shipping insurance can save you a lot of headaches should anything happen to your item during transit.

Payment Terms

Carefully read the payment terms to verify when payment is due and what forms of payment the seller accepts.  If you can't meet the payment deadline, or can not pay by any of the forms of payment accepted by the seller, email the seller before bidding to advise when you anticipate being able to make payment in full - or ask if they will accept payment via an alternate method. 

If you do not receive a response from the seller before bidding ends, do not commit to the transaction if you can not satisfy the stated payment terms. 

Sellers may only accept PayPal for a variety of reasons, some of which are the high rate of returned checks (especially when the buyer has already received their item) which generate additional business expenses (chargeback and returned check fees on sellers' banking accounts), and; receipt of fraudulent cashier's checks and/or money orders.

Should the seller decline to accept an alternative payment method from you, don't take it personally.  Their decision is more than likely based on past experience that has caused their specifically prescribed payment terms.  Move on, find the item from a seller that accepts the type of payment you prefer to use.

If for any reason you experience difficulties in processing your payment through PayPal or any other checkout method used by the seller, don't ignore it.  Just because you can't get your payment processed does not mean you are not required to complete your part of the sale.  Remember, you are in a binding contract!

Normally, I suggest you contact the seller via 'Ask Seller a Question'.  However, with payment processing difficulties I would request the seller's contact information via 'Advanced Search'.  Once you place a request for the seller's contact information, send them a message AND attempt to contact them via the telephone number provided by eBay.  Most often, sellers will try to assist where they can and will also provide you with telephone contact information for PayPal (as an example) should there possibly be an issue with your payment account.

Returns Policy 

Read the seller's return policy very carefully.  If you're buying an item that is used and/or sold 'As Is,' and the item is as described within the auction listing, don't expect to be able to return it for a full or partial refund, exchange, or merchandise credit. 

When return or refund policies are stated, be sure you meet the stated notification and return deadlines and whether your return shipping expenses are going to be reimbursed.

In the event you are truly disappointed with the item you purchased, regardless of the seller's stated return policy it can't hurt to email the seller with your concerns.  Customer satisfaction and product quality are most often sellers' top priorities.  They want their customers to be satisfied and will usually work with you to resolve your concerns.  Some sellers do not define a return policy simply because it has been abused in the past.  So, dropping a note to the seller can't hurt.  You may be pleasantly surprised!

Seller Feedback Ratings

Oh, I could write volumes on this topic!

First of all, as a side note many sellers will wait until after you have posted your feedback for them before they post their feedback on your eBay ID.  This is wrong!  However, again the same as with the bad check-writers, fraudulent money orders and so on, the negative and/or neutral feedbacks posted on sellers' eBay IDs by those who use the feedback system to resolve disputes (without first going through the prescribed steps) has caused sellers to retreat over the years.

True, if you have completed your end of the sale accordingly and have no outstanding issues or concerns with the seller, he/she should immediately post feedback for you.  Go ahead and post your positive feedback for him/her...and move on. 

If on the other hand you do have a concern with the item you purchased or the seller, utilize the proper channels made available to you through eBay and PayPal first.  Start with an email to the seller about your concerns.  If you are still not satisfied, contact either eBay or PayPal for assistance on how to proceed. 

In the end, should you feel the seller legitimately deserves a negative or neutral feedback rating then post it accordingly, but do not be retaliatory!  Should the seller give you anything less than positive feedback you may respond to same.

Anytime you have a concern with the item you purchased or the seller you are conducting business with, allow cooler heads to prevail.  Instead of writing or calling the seller while you're angry or frustrated, sleep on it then move forward the next day. 

Detailed Seller Ratings

This certainly is another biggie!  Of the four criteria to be rated, 'shipping time' is probably my biggest beef....more on this in a few moments.

Ratings under the four categories are posted anonymously by buyers.  For the most part, the categories cover areas that should have already been addressed with the seller before you actually submit your response to these ratings.  Although these ratings are posted anonymously, despite what eBay says, they can have an impact on how the seller's performance is reviewed.  And, the Detailed Seller Ratings system can by abused as well - being used as an anonymous way to retaliate against a seller.  Yes, it does happen!

'Shipping Time' is truly misunderstood by buyers, as the 'small print' in eBay listings about shipping time is barely noticeable.  If your seller states they ship within a certain time (i.e. 1 business day, within 48 hours, etc.) and you receive email confirmation (usually with a tracking number) within that time period, then the seller has met their stated shipping time.

As indicated in all listings by eBay,  '*Sellers are not responsible for service transit time. This information is provided by the carrier and excludes weekends and holidays. Note that transit times may vary, particularly during peak periods'.  This statement is in very small and almost illegible print... located under 'Shipping & Handling' in each eBay listing. 

When you receive the email confirmation that your item has been shipped, you can visit the USPS web site or contact UPS (FedEx, DHL, etc.) to verify the approximate transit time for your item.  If the transit time is longer than estimated by the shipping method, instead of assigning negative feedback or a low star rating (in Detailed Seller Ratings), contact the seller to let them know how long the transit time was.  This information is very valuable to sellers as they work with shippers who generally provide the same quality of service the seller extends - especially timely delivery.

It is especially challenging to a seller when they have performed their end of the sale as they have committed to, only to have slow transit times (out of their control) wreak havoc on their ratings.

Should you feel the seller deserves less than five stars on their 'Detailed Seller Ratings,' and you have assigned positive feedback for them, why not email them regarding the areas rated before posting your ratings.  Give the seller an opportunity to address and/or resolve any confusion or concerns beforehand.

In Closing

I am hopeful that the information offered in this guide has been beneficial to you.  The information and commentary is a result of input received from my students and colleagues as well as from my own personal experiences as both an eBay buyer and seller for almost eight years.

I have witnessed the overall and continuing evolution of eBay over the years, and always strive to help others find their way through the myriad of policies, issues, and the 'how-tos'of eBay.  Although challenging at times, I always try to help both buyers and sellers in finding common ground toward resolving issues and concerns, but in some instances human nature rears it's ugly side. 

Written from a seller's perspective, my 'Seller's Guide to eBay Selling Etiquette,' is written from a buyer's perspective...to be posted in 'Reviews and Guides' very soon.

Questions?

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email me using the 'Ask Seller a Question' in my profile.  I welcome inquiries and also appreciate receiving critiques of my writing (so that I may improve for future guides).

Best Wishes & Happy Buying!