As a long-time seller (and buyer) on eBay, one of the most infuriating things I constantly see is the blatant misuse of negative feedback.  And the situation seems to be getting worse as is evident from the innumerable repeating threads on the issue in the eBay forums.   I wrote this guide as a way to debunk some of the misconceptions and to offer my own opinion and experience as both buyer and seller on how to best use feedback while also following eBay policies and being genuinely fair in your trading practices with others.  Some people’s opinions may differ from my own, but I feel this guide (and its sister guide, “Feedback Myths”) will be of use in clarifying some issues that really aren’t well understood.

So let’s get started…

Misuse of negative feedback generally falls under three broad categories:

1. Feedback Extortion
2. Buyer’s Remorse
3. Retaliatory Feedback

In the first category, it’s important to note that eBay defines Feedback Extortion as a buyer or seller trying to extort products or services not included in the original auction by threatening to leave negative feedback if the other person doesn’t comply with their demands.  However, many eBay users generally define feedback extortion as anyone simply threatening to leave negative feedback (as in, “Give me my money back or I’ll leave you negative feedback.”).  This is the most common version seen on eBay and while it may not qualify for the eBay’s protections, it is still a misuse of the feedback system.

The misuse arises because feedback was never intended as a device to leverage your own personal gain or as something to hold over another member’s head.  In fact, feedback was never intended as a system of communication between the original buyer and seller, but rather between the buyer/seller and the rest of the community.  It was informational in nature and not intended as a guarantee.

Taking this concept a step further, many people will often leave a negative feedback to “wake up” a seller or to get their attention that they are displeased. this is NOT its intended purpose.  In fact, eBay’s own policies on feedback remind users to contact a buyer or seller BEFORE leaving feedback!  This is because feedback is permanent - leave a negative for someone and you can’t take it back later (except by way of the mutual feedback withdrawal system).

We should all remember that mistakes happen - wrong products are shipped, things get damaged, mistakes in wording occur, money orders are lost in the mail, emails get lost to SPAM filters.  Contacting an offending buyer or seller FIRST is the smartest and most ethical means of handling any situation that arises.  This is also your best chance of resolving the situation since it is basic human nature to respond negatively when confronted with negativity.

It all goes back to that old saying “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” or as Patrick Swayze said in Road House, “Be nice…until it’s time not to be nice.”  Always give the other person the chance to prove their merit before you render a judgment without all the facts.  If you can’t get satisfaction after taking these steps, THEN you should feel free to leave any feedback you think is appropriate.


The second category of misuse - leaving a negative simply due to “Buyer’s Remorse” - is a misuse that takes many forms.  Most often, this is an emotional response, or even a cover-up for the member’s own mistake or wrong assumption.  I call it “vindictive feedback” because a buyer (or seller) leaves the feedback not because the other party failed to live up to their responsibilities, but rather because the person is unhappy with some issue in the transaction and just wants to complain about it.  The easiest way to garner instant gratification is to smack the offending party with a negative feedback.  It goes without saying, however, that the decent and grownup way of handling the situation is to contact the other party, lay out your grievance, and try to reach an amicable resolution.  Oh, if only everyone thought this way!

Here are my Top 10 examples of Buyer’s Remorse leading to improper negative feedback:

“Your shipping was higher than other sellers”

• If all charges were revealed in the auction, you have no one to blame but yourself for paying what you did for shipping.  Like it or not, that is the charge and you agreed to pay it.  Also, ”shipping charges” may contain handling charges, so the price on the mailing label does NOT have to match the price you were charged for shipping.

“The color doesn’t look as good as it did in the auction ad”

• If the product is the same as advertised in the auction, it is not the fault of the seller that your monitor color resolution doesn’t agree with the actual color of the product.

“The item didn’t weigh very much, so you overcharged me for shipping”

• As in the other example, you agreed to pay this amount, so you have only yourself to blame.  You might find it interesting to know that, due to fierce price competition on eBay, many sellers only make money on shipping and nothing on the sale of the item itself (this is VERY common on eBay).

“The item took too long to arrive”

• If the item arrived as-advertised and the seller did not violate any of their shipping policies or promises for a time duration for delivery, this is not a legitimate reason for a negative feedback.  You should also remember that shipping times increase dramatically during the Christmas season, which is likewise not the fault of the seller unless they made specific promises for delivery that they failed to live up to.

“I thought the auction was for something different than what I received”

• NEVER make any assumptions on what you are bidding on!  If you have any questions whatsoever, either send the seller a question BEFORE placing a bid or bid on an item from another seller …sellers are not mind readers and are not responsible for your mistaken assumptions.

“The item packaging didn’t look like I’m used to”

• If you received the correct item in the correct size, color, etc., then you should remember that many eBay sellers use manufacturer’s photos, which may become outdated and not reflect changes in product packaging.  These changes often happen without the seller being informed and should not be a reason for leaving a negative feedback when the seller has otherwise lived up to all of their obligations. For these same reasons, different packaging also does not automatically mean a product is not authentic.  Check with a reputable retailer before assuming anything and slamming someone with a negative they don't deserve.

“The item was broken when I got it”

• This is a common negative feedback issue, but it is NOT valid!  Contact the seller and begin the process of filing a claim with the shipping agency.  If the seller will not assist you, check out their shipping policies.  If they are in violation of their own policies, now you have a case.  If you purchased shipping insurance, seek a refund through the seller.  If you didn’t purchase shipping insurance, it may likely fall to you to work it out with the shipping company.  Please be aware that you may have to ship a product back to the seller to prove damage since anyone can say something was damaged and demand their money back (whether it’s true or not).  Also be aware that many sellers will not refund your shipping (or the additional shipping you spend to return the item...check with them to be sure of who is responsible for what).
  

“Your store listing is cheaper than the auction price”

• Auctions by their very nature may end at any price imaginable.  Sellers may lose money on auctions at least as readily as they may make money on auctions; it is a gamble for both buyer and seller.  The end result is up for grabs, but the Seller is not responsible for refunding you money just because a store listing is less than the closing price of an auction.  If you don’t like that dynamic, then shop on eBay Express or use only Buy It Now or fixed-price listings.

“The item didn’t fit”

• If the seller sent the size advertised in their auction, it is not their fault that it doesn’t fit.  You could be mistaken in your size or the manufacturer may have a different sizing variation than other manufacturers of the same type of clothing.  If unsure of a fit, email the seller in advance of bidding for more specific sizing details.  Also, make sure the seller will take the product back or exchange it in the event it doesn't fit before you place your bid.

“You didn’t combine my shipping”

• This is a pretty common issue for people with eBay stores or off-site stores.  Most auctions from these sellers will clearly state that all auctions and purchases must be paid for as 1 transaction. Making multiple payments will result in separate orders being created and separate shipping charges applied.  And larger sellers will have no way of knowing this ever happened since they do so much business and do not necessarily review and compare every single order every single day.  If all items were shipped together, but you were charged full shipping amounts when discounts should have been applied, take it up with the seller to seek a refund of the difference.

The third category of misuse of negative feedback is the retaliatory feedback response…"you slapped me with a negative, so here’s one right back at you!"  It requires little explanation and is common to both buyers and sellers.  In fact, it’s just part of human nature…the whole “do unto others” thing (even if it is more like “an eye for an eye”).

This is also part of a bad cycle - retaliatory feedback often occurs after a buyer leaves a negative for Buyer’s Remorse.  See how much could be avoided if we all just acted like grownups and talked things over before resorting to negative feedback?

The only tiny positive that might come from retaliatory feedback is the fact that the seller then has some leverage to hopefully reach a dialog with an unhappy buyer (who may not have even contacted them before leaving the negative).  The two might then reach a settlement on the issue and - just maybe - get the negative feedbacks mutually withdrawn if both are in agreement to do so.  This doesn’t make the retaliatory feedback right, but it does tend to be a common final outcome.

The moral of this story is that all of the above misuses of negative feedback could be prevented if people would just communicate with each other - and do so not in a whiny or demanding way, but in an adult and diplomatic fashion.  Ebay was envisioned by its founder as an online community.  Much of this has been lost since eBay has become a giant corporation with ever-burgeoning fees, but we can still do ourselves the favor of not succumbing to basic human pettiness and greed by simply using that glorious invention known as email (or the telephone) to reach out and contact our fellow eBay members before doing anything hasty.  Most buyers and sellers are not out to scam each other and are often willing to go the extra mile to reach a mutually agreeable solution.  Many, however, are not experienced business people and may need a bit of patience.

Talk things out BEFORE you fire off the negative…and you’re liable to get a much more positive resolution!


Useful links for Feedback topics and questions:

Feedback FAQ
Feedback Policies: Overview
Feedback Removal Policy
Mutual Feedback Withdrawal
Feedback Extortion Policy
Feedback Forum
Feedback Answer Center
Feedback Star Glossary
Pierre Omidyar (eBay's founder) on feedback