1.   A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know the cat is dead?" the teacher asked. The boy looked at the teacher and answered "Because I pissed in it's ear and it didn't move."   "You DID WHAT?!?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the little boy, " I leaned over the cat and went 'Pssst!' in it's ear and it didn't move."

2.   When an exasperated mother asked her child how he would get into Heaven, imagine her surprise when he innocently replied "Well, I will keep running in and out, in and out, slamming the gates until St. Peter tells me "For Heavens sake Brian, either come it or stay out!"

3.   When I was about six months pregnant my 4 year old looked at me while in the bath tub and said "Wow mommy, your belly sure is fat!" I looked at her and said " Well remember, Tay, that mommy's belly is getting fat because there is a baby growing inside there."
My 4 year old looked at me confused then asked "Is there a baby in your butt too then?"

4. One little girl, when asked her name, would reply "I'm Mr. Sugerbrown's daughter."  Her mother told her one day after hearing this that she needed to say "I am Jane Sugerbrown."
One day the mother and little girl where at church and a parent looked at the little girl and said "Aren't you Mr. Sugerbrown's daughter?"
The little girl replied, "I thought I was but my mother says I'm not."

5. A little girl goes with her father to the Barber Shop one day. While he is getting a hair cut she stands next to the chair watching him while eating a snack cake. The barber looks at the little girl and says "Sweetheart, your going to get hair all over your Twinkie."
The little girl looks at the barber and says "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobies too."