Ok, I don't know if this ever has happened to you, but I am driven crazy every time I try to sell a beautiful wonderful garment such as this:

and sell it at a fraction of what I paid for it, but will only get a few watchers at best and it won't sell for $30.00 bucks(when I paid hundreds more and NEVER wore it, that's another mystery in itself), but a croquet penis warmer auction(and yes, I've seen it happen) will start out at $0.99 and end up in a showdown of two bidders or more and this THING ends up being sold at $40.00 bucks!  I'm sitting looking at my computer with a face that is so contorted that my little girls start to cry when they see me.  I'm I cursed?? I've seen people fight over a pair of sneakers that I wouldn't even give my dog to chew on, but can't seem to sell my collection of authentic Bradford Exchange "Gone With the Wind" frigging collector's edition(special edition, that is) plates!  Here's the best one.  there are people selling spells to bring you money, love, bring back a lost love, dispel curses on you and protection spells that will last up to at least, but not limited to 3 years, guaranteed.  I'm not kidding, look it up.  But you want to know the best part about this?  I have spent like, $80.00 bucks on them!  When they say that there is a sucker born every minute, I'm sure that I've been born and reborn about 1,000 times since my actually date of birth, add it up, that's alot of sucking. 

So, I'm sure many of you, and you don't have to admit it, I personally have nothing to lose or gain, except for maybe your vote(please vote), no I'm just kidding!(you vote for ....please ...whom...vote...ever.....for....you......me....want.......me...)

many of us fall victim to the sad, but not commonly known, curse of the "You think you can sell nice stuff, but people actually want poopy stuff and will sell there souls as well as their dignity to get it".  It's ok, I'm one of those sad souls, I'm proud of it,(i'm actually not, I sometimes cry, while in a fetal position, until the reality of knowing that I'm an idiot, goes away)anyway, be proud and always follow this formula when selling and or buying on Ebay and your success will be great, that and you won't feel like such a dumb a_ _ .

Ok, when selling, follow this:

Catagory "Everything Weird"   +   your stupid crap   = profit

got it, very simple, learn it, live it, make money from it.

Next,

When buying on Ebay follow this:

Stay AWAY from the "Everything Weird" catagory  + buy "Best Offer" items(even if you don't really know if you need it or actually want it,just DO it, trust me on this one) it will = itself out to a joy of the gamble, the want to win, but on your own terms and the anticipation of having your offer accepted or possible declined which would truly suck BUT it will have fulfilled your inner need to Ebay, a thrill, a gamble, a state of craziness in ones mind, but Ha ah! what a thrill, right? Right? well, I think so, but back to the possible "decline"of an offer, I suggest and even did this today and got my item, Wait for the auction to end and if there were no winners, contact the seller and offer your lowest price again, you'd be surprised to know how many people don't want to relist an item over and over again.  Chances are you will get your item at the price you wanted, everyone happy.

Just as a side note, this formula also works for garage sales. Wait for the last day of a local garage sale and go there with like $5.00 bucks and you will come out with a bag full of stuff.  Why?  Because the people running the garage sales WANT to get rid of their CRAP and after sitting two or three days on their butts not getting the prices the wanted for the things they wanted to get rid off, that will put a person on the "just give me what ever you got for this crap and take it away, for God sakes!" I know this to be the truth behind garage sales because I had one this past weekend and items that were mark at $5.00 on the first day were sold for $0.10 the last day. Yep.    So...uh,...what was I getting at?......Oh yeah, that's the formula around not spending to much on Ebay, getting  many of the things you want and  still getting the thrill that accompanies the treasure that IS Ebay!

 I was researching in all the Ebay catagories(which is where I stumbled across that little package warmer, I guess, for all those cold lonely nights when a mans genitals have the chills(HELLO? anyone here ever hear of how sufficient thermal underwear can be?)) to see what actually sells and what isn't a good seller.  I have come to realize, through my own scientific means, that there is a clever way to look at selling on Ebay.  It's a place where you can get some pretty great stuff at great prices and get into bidding wars which can be fun(not like the bad ones, wars, I mean), you meet people from all over the world that love the feeling of selling something that they no longer want or need and have it being won by someone who was really happy to have found it here in the first place.  There are even sellers who have made such a great selling structure that Ebay has changed their lives!  Let's never forget the people like me who have made their user IDs  famous by buying things that we need, we want, we think we need, but know deep down inside that we don't need it, but still want it because another user wants it too!!*see, "bidding wars" and the wonders and suckers behind it*

One last thing before I go, I'm I the only person who is forced into buying the "lot" when I only really want one of the 5 items in it?  Geez! I hate that, but if I need it I but the damn  lot! Hey!  that's a good selling tip.  Take one really cute shirt and throw in like 4 really ugly ones that you can't wait to get rid of and you will sell so much more stuff and best of all you will have emptied your closet enough to start filling it right back up with Ebay.