First of all Ladies and Gentlemen,

I apologise if you have already sent your merchandise... you will not see it again.  There is no one you can complain to, it is no-one's fault but the scammer... (ok maybe if you were greedy but still...)

The Signs of a Scam:

Wanting you to end an auction early so they can pay you a slightly above average price, and using their own shipping service account.  Real eBayers deal through ebay and paypal, (As much as paypal sucks) and understand the auction concept.

A Money transfer service you've never heard of.  This includes actual services overseas, etc (The most common is MoneyGram)... however if you were to call the service, you should find they have no such account/ transaction on file.

The location of the buyer.  Usually Malaysian, Nicaraguan, or Phillipine based... however any odd location, (Not USA, Britian, or Japan) should arouse suspicion.

(I hate to say it, but) Buyer rating/ frequency.  Generally you can trust those over two sales... (but as long as they bid on your item through ebay, who cares)

Now that you know... what do you do?:

There are several responses you can take, listed from least useful/fun, to most useful/fun.

The least useful thing you can do is tell ebay, moneygram, or the internation trade whatever...  It is not their problem, and the government probably sucks wherever they are.

You could send the an email that says "No thank you, but feel free to bid in the auction"  While this is the least fun, it has some potential.

You could send them a less polite declination "F*** you"  While more fun, it still lacks finesse, and dosen't solve the problem.

You could report them to ebay.  While this helps solve the problem, it's far too easy for the grifter to get another account/IP address.

Now for my personal favorite...  You could, (And I in-no-way condone this) agree to their proposal, take your item off ebay, (This option does require a double insertion fee) get their "Private Fedex account" or whatever, recieve their fake confirmation code to wherever, and send them something of equal weight... like, for example: dog feces... or maybe something that fedex won't arrest you for (Use some creativity... maybe something juicy... like unpackaged meat)                   But how could this possibly be useful you ask?  The scammer did pay for the shipping didn't they?

So that's about it...  Also if hundreds of scammers start getting odd... packages, then the problem may solve itself.

                                                Love (Except to those slime),

                                                                               Johnny

P.S.  I realise publishing this might help the scammers avoid problems...  Oh well...  I wrote this in two minutes anyway, so don't read too much into it.