A Moment of Reflection from Neo Tokyo:

The sneaker boom has spawned an impish creature known as the “sneakerhead,” a man who in my definition grossly mistakes his sneaker collection to be an accurate yardstick of his cultural currency.  Under the battle cry “I collect, therefore I am (cool),” the sneakerheads identity has become subsumed by his treacherous hobby.


Such a jejune state of mind serves as a huge impediment for becoming a “gentleman.”  The ever-classy James Bond inarguably serves as the most iconic gentleman in recent years.  However, I argue here that men of his vintage are increasingly facing extinction, overrun by tasteless, tactless shoe barbarians.  

The difference between James Bond and a boy is that 007 has learned to master the tools he is equipped with.  He is never seen talking to a woman about his laser cutting watch, nor about his turbo charged 500hp Aston Martin parked outside.  His British charm never cedes conversation space to his multimillion dollar gadgets, his personality takes center stage and never relinquishes control for he is not defined by his material goods; Instead he is judged by the actions he takes while wielding such devices.  

In this analogy, Q, his wizened, weathered assistant represents the sneaker head.  He can state the specifications, cost, and rarity of his gizmos but cannot escape his profession and identity as a scientist.  Someone who is confined and thus defined by his utility can at best achieve expertise, but inevitably fails to convert it into grace.  For as remarkable as Q’s toys are, have you ever seen the poor wrinkly fellow get laid in any bond film?

The lesson is this:  don’t get too deep into this sneaker head nonsense.   Here are some rules to avoid the pitfalls of sneakerhead-ism.

1) Don’t purchase those shirts with pictures of shoes on them.  You wouldn’t wear a shoe with a t-shirt and pants logo on them, would you?  

2) Don’t describe yourself as a sneakerhead when asked to introduce yourself.  Let it be a nice detail, not the title hanging over your head.  Most girls have many shoes, but have you ever come across one that calls herself a stiletto-head?  

3) When it’s raining and you have an umbrella in hand, hold it over your girl, not your shoes.  

4) When you buy shoes from this store, you are the owner.  Do not let the shoes own you.  Use it, wield it, and be judged by your actions while rocking heaters.  Help a prune-skinned grandmother across the street, help your dad rake the leaves, chase after the woman you love while rocking these Neo Tokyo joints, but don’t let it ever stop you from doing the important things in life.  
   
By the way, I am a sneaker head.  (＾っ＾)