It should be noted before I begin that I am an expert at this because I got dumped by the same guy two times in one year; yes ladies I set myself up for the biggest fall twice in 2007.  Does that make me foolish? (yes), Does that make me stupid? (yes).  It also makes me susceptible to one thing I never thought could happen to me, I fell in love.

I got dumped for another woman in May and I got dumped for the same woman in October.  Trick was she never really left.  She was there 24/7 and as dehumanizing as that is for a woman, the man I loved was so incapable of being sensitive to the idea of having me compete with someone so cute and perky and perfect, one had to doubt whether or not he was sincere ever.  As I just found out most recently, he actually quit loving me in February (2 months after proposing) and instead of communicating to me he dragged us through the worst Spring and Summer of my life.

But the steps are easy and they come quickly to mind because well, I have had practice and you should learn from my practice;

1.  Don't develop any bad habits.  I actually started to ride my bike again after my ex left in May.  It was greatly therapeutic as it gave me time to think about what I wanted.  Unfortunately all I could think about for the month of May was wanting him dead.  Hmmm, not so good but it did have an encouraging effect on my thighs you know?  When I get better, I am going to get back on my bike and enjoy my life.  It is a definite possibility.

2.  Don't hold any grudges.  This one is hard.  I held a severe grudge against the ex. I hated the sight of him because he had disrupted my world so completely.  But what you do is you take your hate and you put it in a box, wrap it with tissue and then wrap the box in some awfully pretty paper so you won't want to open it and rip the paper.  Make a big fluffy bow. Put a tag on it and put it in the closet, on the uppermost shelf and then hire a fat woman in a Viking outfit to stand in front of the door of the closet and tell her not to move.  Hey, don't think me politically incorrect I am a fat Polish woman, I am not casting aspersions more than I am just being specific about what's needed here.  The Viking costume is essential too - it has something to do with the horns. 

3.  Develop outside interests, these would be interests that take you outside.  I started to go to Dodger games alot more and I even started to enjoy hockey. This kind of sucked because I met the cutest guy at the Stanley Cup Playoffs and it turned out he was married, and a liar.  So I guess I was doing better though because instead of just being a liar, I got adultery too - kind of like a two for one.

4.  Go back to your church.  I searched and searched for a good synagogue and finally found one.  It helps.  It gets me out and about and makes me remember what's important.  I realize that what's important isn't necessarily me having a regular sex life.  Wow, talk about the bigger picture right?

5.  I started to play the piano again.  Find something you do and don't stop doing it until you do it well.  I still can't play very well..Mozart and I are not very close still but I can do a pretty groovy take on Mac the Knife.  I promise not to sing.

6.  Learn to forgive.  We have this great holiday called Yom Kippur and I remember sitting there with my ex and actually forgiving the hurt that he inflicted.  You see, I care about him that much.  It is a very cleansing feeling.  Now if I could just forgive HOW he inflicted the hurt (just kidding, I've almost got that handled too!)