Go to a Mom & Pop firm, family owned and not to a corporate firm where the highest monetary return to shareholder is the mission.  Small family firms can help, provide flexible payment terms usually with no interest, and give you advice based upon your needs, not the funeral home's sales quotas.  If choosing cremation, ask where the crematory is and who operates it.  Try to use a family firm that also owns and operates their own crematory that is located on their own premises and preferably performs approximately 350 cremtions per year or less.  This way, your family member never leaves their care and they are probably only performing one cremation per day.  Crematories that do 50 to 100 per month or more scare me, no matter how great their logging and tracking system is.  Also, the ashes do not have to be shipped (usually by mail) back to the funeral home from the crematory since the body never left the building.  Ask for a referral from a friend or neighbor that has no interest in where you go or loyalty to a particular funeral home.  People that you think you can trust are often the worst to rely on such as a hospice nurse, cemetery operator, monument shop owner/operator and worst of all, a funeral insurance salesman.  A family in your neighborhood that has recently had to use a funeral home is a far better resource and most don't even think of asking them.  They will give you darn good advice and include tips such as "it's not the firm that serves you, it's the person on staff there that serves you as your funeral director".  A great referral not only includes the name of the firm, but the name of a great funeral director. And don't feel like you are being treated second class if you a served by a woman funeral director.  You can actually come away from a first meeting and know with all the confidence in the world that you are being served by someone that has become your friend in the business and is loyal to your needs.  But the best advice of all is:  Don't wait. Call ahead to go in ahead of time if you are advised that the time is drawing near. Don't try to drop in as good funeral directors are popular, in high demand, are often speaking with another family that called and reserved the time with them.  You might as well be comfortable with your funeral home selection sooner.  It's really nice to know that if and when when something does happen, you have an established relationship that you can rely on.  Bad funeral directors are usually doing very little and are available for you to drop in.  Important!!  Make an appointment even though it is hard to pick up the phone and break the ice.  If you are not comfortable with who you meet with, then try another one.  There are good ones that want to help you, but they can't find you. They are limited by law on how that can market and approach.  For the most part,  you have to find them.  Best of luck and best wishes to all who need this advice.  I sincerely hope it helps someone. Corporate firms are growing and employing thousands of people who won't like the advice contained in this guide and will vote it as not helpful. But does any of this make good sense to you?  Please let me know by participating in the helpfullness vote below.