Executive Summary

The vast majority of sellers and buyers are good natured and honest, at least most of the time. Let's face it, we all have our bad days from time to time. Most troubles on eBay are the result of a simple misunderstanding caused by a lack of communication. This guide aims to help buyers proactively manage communication with sellers and transactions in order to get the most out of eBay, while avoiding the unfortunate catastrophe.

The Great Role Reversal

Perhaps it is your first time buying on eBay, or maybe you have made several purchases on eBay. Have you ever sold anything on eBay? If not, I strongly recommend you sell something on eBay; even if it is just a small, lower value item such as a used pair of shoes or clothes. Selling an item on eBay will expose you to entirely new set of experiences, giving you an enhanced vantage point to better relate to other sellers. Statistically, an equal number of sellers and buyers are defrauded on eBay, so the system is not heavily skewed in favoring one party over the other. Given the fact that most sellers are good natured and honest, what are the best ways to communicate a problem to a seller?

1. Put Yourself in the Seller's "Shoes"

Try to think of yourself as the seller involved in the transaction instead of the buyer. This will dramatically change how you react to the problem. At heart, a seller is genuinely concerned with the satisfaction of your purchase. At the same time though, the seller wants to get the most money possible for their item, especially if they are running a business on eBay; it is simply their livelihood! The seller has costs to cover including packaging, inventory holding costs, DOA (defective or dead on arrival) warranty risk, PayPal/Merchant fees, eBay selling fees/commission, CRM (customer relationship management) costs, and the list goes on and on. Naturally, the last thing a seller wants to hear is a complaint or threat from the buyer--this would only make the situation worse. Rather than making harsh demands and threats, try explaining the situation to the seller in rational terms and ask the seller if it is possible to provide a solution or some options to resolve the situation. Also, don't make the problem or issue bigger than it really is. For instance, if a minor part such as a missing adapter was omitted from your package, be thankful the item arrived and works--you could have received a box of rocks or phone books. Begin by complimenting the seller on the fast shipment and condition of the item; then follow-up with kindly requesting some options or a solution to resolve the missing part.

2. eBay is not a Nordstrom (or Costco, Best Buy, Circuit City, etc.)

Ever heard of the absolutely ridiculous stories of customers returning used or unrelated items to a major retailer and getting a refund? I once heard the tale of a gentleman returning a set of used tires to Nordstrom (a fine department store), and the store clerk kindly said, "Just a minute sir, I will write up your refund slip." Can you imagine--trying to return a used set of tires to a department store and getting a refund? Perhaps the tale is just a myth, but in any case brick and mortar retailers typically have very liberal return policies, given the retailers considerably mark-up the prices of the items they sell (often 75-100% or higher). eBay is a completely different environment. Seldom to never, will you find items closing on eBay above or near retail prices. Because eBay is a consumer driven market, prices are determined almost solely by buyers. Sellers on eBay sell at margins considerably lower than traditional store retailers, and therefore a compensation is made in the area of service. In most cases you will not find the same level of customer service with an eBay seller as compared to a store retailer. Be careful in what you expect from a seller in terms of customer service. Expect the worst customer service ever, and then to your surprise it might not be so bad after all.

3. Sellers are only Human

In the fallen world we live in, sellers are human too--no different than buyers or anyone else. No one is perfect in our fallen world. A great majority of sellers on eBay have no experience in retail customer management. Most eBay sellers are hobbyists or ordinary folks with other vocations who simply sell their used items on eBay to contribute to their monthly income. Most sellers have not had training in conflict management, customer service relations, or properly setting the expectations of their customers. You may catch a seller in one of their "less than the best" moments where they drop an insult or unkind word in response to your amicable request. It is hard to judge a situation without knowing the other side of the story. For all you know, the seller could have just lost a family member, experienced a divorce, or just stumbled on hard times financially. Does this excuse the seller's behavior? Absolutely not, but it at least provides an explanation for it. Unfortunately, many eBay transactions involve harsh words or counterintuitive threats. Usually anger is provoked by a response or action whether in a relationship, marriage, or eBay transaction. This anger is the result of a misunderstanding or lack of communication. To avoid provoking anger, carefully word your e-mails so that they are the least offending possible. Re-read your e-mails before sending them out, or even have a friend or spouse read it to ensure it is rational and non-offensive. Avoid all threats and insults as they almost always backfire. If a seller is rude to you in return, simply "turn the cheek" and respond in an amicable manner in return. You will be amazed at what a simple compliment or friendly greeting can do.

Sample Case Study

For the sake of practical purposes, let's formulate a hypothetical situation where a buyer experiences a problem with a purchase from an eBay seller.

Our eBay buyer, Herman, decides to purchase a gently used laptop on eBay, hoping for a good deal. Herman finds a great laptop from what appears to be a great seller with 99% positive feedback. Herman bids on the item in the last 10 seconds of the auction, and to his surprise he wins the item. Herman is so excited that he pays for the item right away via PayPal. Herman can barely wait for a tracking number to track the laptop he won. The next day Herman gets the tracking number, which he adamantly tracks several times each day to make sure it is making progress. Within a few days, a big UPS truck pulls up in front of his house and delivers the long awaited laptop. Herman anxiously opens the box and tears through all the packaging to get to the laptop. He gently pulls the laptop out of the box and powers the unit on. After his excitement begins to fade, Herman meticulously inspects the item to make sure it functions as described and doesn't have any defects or imperfections. To Herman's surprise, he finds a small crack or the rear of the laptop, about the size of a strand of hair! (for the sake of this case study we'll continue on in two separate scenarios)


Scenario Response #1
Herman angrily marches to his computer and opens his e-mail program to find the seller's last e-mail. Herman proceeds to type up a 1,000 word essay on the hairline crack found on the laptop, stating how Herman demands a full refund within 24 hours, or he'll file a police report and PayPal dispute. About 10 minutes pass by, but still no response from the seller. Herman proceeds to write another e-mail, this time only 500 words threatening negative feedback on the seller's account if he/she doesn't respond within 24 hours. Another 30 minutes go by and still no response. This time Herman angrily forwards his previous two messages thinking maybe the e-mails didn't get delivered, or perhaps more e-mail messages will get the seller's attention. A whole 4 hours goes by before Herman receives a response from the seller. The seller instructs Herman to photograph the hairline crack and send a digital picture through e-mail to the seller. Amazed a the seller's e-mail, Herman ignores the request and instead ridicules the seller for not accurately describing the item in the auction, attempting to defraud our dear Herman. Without waiting any longer, Herman files a PayPal dispute and escalates the issue to a claim. The seller receives Herman's nasty e-mail, and this time the seller has had enough! The seller responds by stating "all sales are final" and "bite the dust!" Outraged, Herman immediately calls PayPal and demands a refund from PayPal, while also calling his credit card company and requesting a chargeback in addition to leaving negative feedback on the sellers account (in all caps of course), "SELLER IS WORTHLESS AND GOOD FOR NOTHING." In the end, Herman loses the PayPal dispute (probably due to his emotional responses and rudeness to the third parties) in addition to his credit card chargeback, so Herman is stuck with a less than perfect laptop. Shortly after the seller retaliates by also leaving negative feedback in return (in all caps of course), "BUYER IS IMMATURE, A BIG BABY, F MINUS." Does this situation sound familiar? Let's consider a second scenario response...


Scenario Response #2
Herman proceeds to inspect the laptop a bit more and finally determines he really can't live with the hairline crack. Herman first goes back to carefully check the description to make sure he didn't miss anything in the auction listing. Herman doesn't see any mention of a hairline crack from the description, so he proceeds to contact the seller to inquire; after all, perhaps a mistake was made and the wrong item was shipped out. Herman's e-mail consists of the following:

Dear seller,
Thank you for the prompt shipping of the laptop! I absolutely love the laptop, it is fast and powerful just like you described. You packaged it so well in the box, I really appreciate all your hard work. I do have a question though. I noticed there is a small hairline crack on the back of the laptop (see attached picture). Is there a way we can fix the crack? I really love the laptop, but I'm not sure if I can deal with the small hairline crack (I must admit I am rather crazy/anal about stuff like that). Anyway, thanks again for all your excellent service on the transaction! You are awesome! Take care,
Herman

Within a few hours, Herman gets a response from the seller apologizing for the minor discrepancy. The seller explains the hairline crack must have been an overlook or misunderstanding of some sort. Unfortunately though, the seller does not have a replacement laptop just like the one Herman bought, so the seller presents Herman with the option to return the item and get a refund, or the seller can refund the shipping costs of $50 to make up for the mistake. Herman contemplates for quite some time, and finally decides to return the laptop to the seller for a refund. In the end, Herman gets a refund and graciously thanks the seller for understanding. Herman is able to take the money from the refund and purchase another laptop on eBay. Beyond mere wasted time, Herman hasn't lost any money.

Scenario Observations
You can quickly see what a difference a little friendly communication can do, to help you as a buyer get what you want in return for a transaction gone wrong. Notice the clear difference in the initial inquiry from Herman to the seller. In the first scenario, Herman aggressively makes accusations and demands, but only ends up with the perceived satisfaction of retaliation with negative feedback. In the second scenario, Herman explains the situation in a rational manner and in return the seller gives Herman options to make up for the mistake. Obviously a little sarcasm and exaggeration were used in the above scenarios, but you get the point. If you want to get the most out of a transaction, it is vitally important to treat the seller the same way you would like to be treated.

Practical Tips for Proactively Managing Your eBay Experience as a Buyer

1. Carefully read through every auction listing in its entirety. Avoid bidding in haste out of excitement or anticipation of winning an item. After you have read the auction description once, re-read it again to make sure you didn't overlook any important details.

2. Don't assume anything. If you have a question, ask the seller before placing a bid on the item. Don't be afraid to ask questions, although leave plenty of time before the end of the auction to give the seller enough time to respond.

3. Make sure you keep your registered eBay e-mail address up to date in your Account Information. Doing so will ensure you always receive important e-mails from eBay and other eBay sellers. If your registered address is an account you don't regularly check anymore, you might miss an important e-mail from a seller (that might explain why you aren't getting e-mails in return from the seller).

4. Make note of a seller's return policy, DOA (defective or dead on arrival policy), exchange policy, etc.

5. Be careful not to confuse one auction listing with another, especially if you are looking at several of the same item in different auctions.

6. Never issue threats or insults to anyone on eBay. Even as a last resort, threats and insults do more harm than good. It is easy to get emotionally involved in a transaction as your hard earned money has been spent; try to keep your comments rational and kind.

7. When you experience problems with a seller, always begin your communications by praising the seller for at least 3 things they did right (surely every transaction has at least 3 positive aspects, right?). Think of it like disciplining a child. You praise them for the things they do good often, but you also scold them or punish them for the things they do wrong.

8. Rather than making demands against a seller, kindly ask the seller what he or she would recommend (ask for his/her opinion). Provide the seller with the opportunity to create a solution to the problem (no one likes being told what to do, right?).

9. Avoid PayPal and eBay disputes initially. PayPal and eBay did not sell you the item, they only facilitated the transaction. Communication directly with the seller is your best option. If and only if communication with the seller fails (give adequate time), then use PayPal and eBay disputes as your last option. You have typically 30-45 days to take advantage of a PayPal or eBay dispute, so don't rush into it.

10. Unwarranted or irrational negative feedback left on a seller's account typically backfires and the seller will end up leaving the same in return. Very few eBay buyers and sellers actually read through in detail the feedback on anyone's account, so chances are your feedback will be read by only a handful of others. The temporary satisfaction gained from leaving negative feedback is overrated!

11. Avoid jumping to conclusions without thoroughly investigating first. Falsely accusing a seller will most likely backfire.

12. Ask a spouse, friend, or co-worker for his/her opinion on your issue or problem in order to get a more unbiased "big picture" of the situation.

13. Avoid obnoxiously sending multiple e-mails one after the other to the seller, in hopes of getting the seller's attention with multiple e-mails. It is OK of course to send periodic e-mails over the course of 12-24 hours if you don't get a response from the seller, but be sure to leave adequate time. Also, double check and make sure your e-mails are going to the eBay seller, and not an unmonitored eBay or PayPal e-mail address (e.g. noreply@ebay.com).

Most sellers on eBay are good natured and honest, but there are unfortunately a handful of genuinely evil sellers who prowl around like a lion to scam and defraud eBay buyers. Use your best judgment along with a thorough investigation, before labeling a seller as purely dishonest and fraudulent. When you encounter a seller who is completely unwilling to understand your issue, even when you have responded with kind words over and over, then and only then should you draw the conclusion the seller is purely evil. At this point, you should take advantage of the multiple channels available to get your money back. Consider using PayPal or eBay disputes, credit card chargebacks, Bank intervention, police reports, feedback channels etc. In any case make sure you have sufficient evidence against the seller and not just personal ill-feelings. Be factual and rational as you present your case.

Above all, put yourself in the shoes of the seller and treat the seller like you would like to be treated in the same scenario. Approaching your strategy by considering a role reversal will greatly increase the favorable results of your situation.

Written by Justin Pepple. Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.