Have you noticed how many haunted items have cropped up for sale on ebay?  It seems that spirits and genies have attached themselves to just about every imaginable household object, and it makes you a little leery of opening the silverware drawer or even the clothes dryer.  I have carefully followed these haunted listings, and feel qualified to offer this advice to anyone who wishes to avoid harboring these restless spirits.

First . . . do not, under any circumstances, accept a piece of costume jewelry from your grandmother or your aunt.  You may not be aware of this, but it seems that everyone's grandmother and/or aunt was a practicing witch.  Oh, she may have looked innocent enough crocheting her little lace doilies in the front pew of the church every Sunday morning, but, trust me . . . I've researched this . . . they're all witches.  Their jewelry is bewitched . . . and when they give it to you, they're going to tell you to keep some and sell the rest on ebay so that the spirtis/genies/djinns can find their "proper owner".  Mark my words, I've seen it happen over and over again.  If your grandma offers you a brooch, say, "No thank you, Grandma, I think I'll just have a cookie."  Otherwise, you're going to be trafficing in genies and ghosts before you know it.

As an aside . . . let me say that it is perfectly okay to accept real antique gemstone jewelry from your relatives.  I can't explain why the "bestest, mostest powerfullest, genie in the entire universe and beyond" would have such a strong preference to reside in the most hideous junk jewelry imaginable, but I guess there is just no accounting for taste.  If Aunt Demitri or Grandma Drucilla hauls out a box of trinkets, run!

Second . . . do not go to Egypt.  I know you want to, but don't.  Egypt is just crawing with haunted stuff, and you are almost guaranteed to end up with some of it if you show up.  Don't hang out with people who have been to Egypt or even with people whose cousin knows somebody who has actually been there.

Ditto on Ireland.  Ireland is crawling with spirits.  They'll climb into your pockets and into your luggage and when you get back home they'll take up residence in your stuff unless you resort to selling them off on ebay.  Shun Ireland and be very suspicious of anything that comes from Ireland.  If you think I'm kidding, I ask you to consider Waterford crystal.  Have you ever noticed how inexplicably heavy that crystal is?  Has it occurred to you that it just might be infested with Irish spirits?  Just say no to Irish trinkets.

Finally, beware of purchasing any jewelry on ebay that has sparks shooting out of it and a blurry face showing in it.  While it may be quite obvious that the sparks and the face were deliberately put there with a Photoshop program, what is not generally well-known is that Photoshop is actually a haunted program.  In trying to put a fake face onto a piece of costume jewelry, the perpetrator is unknowingly actually haunting it . . . and it isn't going to be haunted with the "powerfullest wish granting genie ever known", it's going to be hautned by some poor slob who couldn't find his way to heaven or hell, even in a handbasket, and now he's just going to hang out at your house and drink your liquor on the sly.  Beware!

I hope this has been helpful to you!  --Sue