HOW TO DIE GRACEFULLY AT THE HANDS OF EXTREMISTS!

THE FOLLOWING TEXT WAS INSPIRED BY DAVID LETTERMAN'S TOP TEN LIST AS SEEN ON LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN.

THE TOP TEN WAYS TO DIE GRACEFULLY AT THE HANDS OF EXTREMISTS!

10. REMEMBER TO VOTE DEMOCRATE IN YOUR NEXT LIFE!

9.DON'T TELL ANY ONE THAT NEW ALLAH JOKE!

8.TELL THE EXECUTIONER THAT YES..BIN LADEN DOES LOOK YOUNGER CLEAN SHAVEN!

7.ASSURE YOUR CAPTORS THAT IT'S O.K. YOUR LAST MEAL IS KOSHER!

6.KEEP QUIET ABOUT YOUR HOSTS APPARENT HYGEINE PROBLEM!

5.DON'T ASK THE QUESTION EVERYBODY WANTS TO ASK, "WHO INVENTED THE TURBIN?''

4.DON'T BORE THE OTHER HOSTAGES WITH YOUR NEW RECYCLING TIPS!

3.DON'T BRAG ABOUT THE GREAT TIME YOU AND THE HOSTS SISTER HAD IN SOUTH BAGDAD!

2.REMEMBER TO SAY ALLAH AT THE END OF YOUR PRAYERS, INSTEAD OF JESUS!

1.PREMATURELY END YOUR FOX NEWS INTERVIEW!

WRITTEN BY KENNY DOUGLAS

2105 N.W. FLANDERS ST. APT.B

PORTLAND, OREGON 97210

503-228-1901

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