Are you preparing with your child for the celebration of First Reconciliation and First Eucharist this year or in the weeks to come?  I have been a catechist for the last nine years and have worked closely with children preparing for these sacraments for the last four years.  This guide is intended to outline the steps necessary in preparing children for First Reconciliation and will provide ideas for additional learning, spiritual resources, and religious gifts to enhance the occasion.

INTRODUCTION

In the United States of America, children normally receive the sacraments of First Communion (Eucharist) and First Reconciliation in the 2nd grade or at the age of 7-8 years.  Depending on life circumstances, sometimes children will not receive these sacraments until later.  This guide is tailored for sacrament preparation for the 7-8 year old and their families, but can also be used in the instance of an older child or young adult.  This guide will tackle the questions of where to start your journey, proper resources, at-home preparation, proper attire for the celebration and gifts. 

DEFINITIONS

I have added some very brief definitions here of the terms mentioned in this guide:

Communion/Eucharist = The Eucharist is the sacrament in which we receive the body and blood of Christ (in the form of bread and wine) as Jesus dictated at the Last Supper before his death and resurrection.

Reconciliation = Reconciliation is the sacrament in which we review our thoughts and actions and confess our sins before a priest.  God will then absolve us of our sins through the priest.  This sacrament can be celebrated individually or in a service with several people and priests present.  The need for formal reconciliation is recognized because of the nature of humanity.  We often cannot understand that we are forgiven until we hear it with our human ears in the form of a human voice.  This is sometimes also practiced informally in Protestant denominations of the Christian Church. 

Absolve or Absolution = When God removes our sin because of our sorrow and His love for us. 

Director of Religious Education (DRE) = This is the title normally given to the person responsible in a parish for coordinating all religious education classes and sacrament preparation for grade K - 6. 

Examination of Conscience = Before celebrating reconciliation, we prayerfully think about our lives and remember what sins we have committed during the procedure of examination of conscience.  We normally do this by comparing our thoughts and actions against those prescribed in the Ten Commandments.

Penance =  After we receive absolution, sometimes the priest will assign "homework" to illustrate or help us remember God's love and forgiveness.  Often, this can be a special scripture passage or the act of thinking of our abundant blessings.      

WHERE DO I START?

The best time to start this preparation is when the child is in kindergarten.  Don't freak out!  By this, I mean that the child should be receiving some sort of religious education as soon as possible.  Enroll your child in a formal religious education program in your parish (either homeschool or community program) at least by the 1st grade.  Then, follow-up with enrollment in the 2nd grade, when the official sacrament preparation will begin. 

What if the above hasn't happened, yet?  There is still hope.  Meet with the Director of Religious Education (DRE) at your parish in order to determine what steps to take.  Many children do receive First Communion in the 2nd grade even if it is the first year of their formal religious education.

Realize that there is a sequence of events that will occur during the course of preparation:

1. Program enrollment
2. Preparation for First Reconciliation
3. Celebration of First Reconciliation  (Normally occurs before the Christmas Season)
4. Preparation for First Communion
5. Celebration of First Communion (Normally occurs during the Easter Season) 

WHAT WILL I NEED TO ENROLL?

When you enroll your child in the sacrament preparation program, you will be asked to present a Baptismal certificate at some point during the preparation period.  People receiving First Reconciliation and First Eucharist should be Baptized prior to these events.  If you child has not, yet, been baptized, discuss this with your DRE to determine the best course of action.  A child can be baptised just days before they celebrate their First Reconciliation.

FIRST RECONCILIATION PREPARATION

Your child's preparation for First Reconciliation will normally begin with a parent meeting where materials will be given to you for at-home preparation.  The child will also be preparing in religious education class or Sunday School. 

Reconciliation Preparation Topics

Your child should be learning about the following topics during their First Reconciliation Preparation:

We belong to God

Your child should understand during the course of preparation that we belong to God and that we are claimed for Jesus Christ during our Christian Baptism.  God always loves us!  We could never do anything that would keep God from loving us!

(Featured above is a photo that I took of a crucifixion scene, where Jesus died for our sins, within a church in Catania, Italy on the island of Sicily.)   

Holy Scripture 

Your child should be  reviewing and becoming familiar with Holy Scripture.  It is very important for every Christian family to have a copy of the Bible.  Children's Bible's with illustrations are most effective for children of this age.  The following scripture stories should be shared with your child during this time of preparation:

• Parable of The Lost Sheep
• Parable of The Forgiving Father
• Jesus' Baptism
• The Great Commandment
• The Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments

It is important for children to learn the meaning of the Ten Commandments at this time.  It is not necessary for them to learn the order in which they appear in the Bible or the exact wording of them.  A very good resource for teaching the Ten Commandments to young children is the coloring book God's Rules For Me.  This book uses kid-friendly language for introducing the Ten Commandments to youngsters. 

Making Choices

Your child should, also, be discussing how to made good and loving choices based on The Ten Commandments.  They should, also, be able to identify other sources (such as parents, teachers, priest, bible) that they would use in which to base decisions.  A great children's book about making choices is I Call My Hand Gentle.    

Sin vs. Mistake

Its very important at this time for a child to be able to discern the difference between committing a sin and making a mistake.  One way that you can help your child is by making a card game or flashcard came out of 3-inch x 5-inch index cards.  On each card write a short scenario about a someone either making a mistake or committing a sin and ask the child to decide if the scenario illustrates a sin or mistake. 

Example:

Card 1:  Anna failed her spelling quiz because she spelled cat "kat" instead of "cat".  This would illustrate a mistake.

Card 2:  When Anna failed her spelling quiz, she drew with red marker on her friend's favorite new purple dress because Anna wanted to ruin it.

Preparing for Reconciliation at Home

In addition to formal religious education or homeschool activities, there are a number of activities that you can perform with your child at home in order to better prepare them for the celebration of Reconciliation.

Sin vs. Mistake Game

Use the sin vs. mistake game discussed in the previous section in order to illustrate to your child the meaning of sin (which should be confessed) vs. what is simply a mistake. 

Online Activities

Most modern religious education textbook companies now maintain a website that contains interactive and printable activities that are age appropriate for students.  For instance, the RCL series of textbooks has a special area on their website that is specifically for Sacrament Preparation. Activities found here include an interactive tour of a church as well as an interactive Rite of Reconciliation.  Usually these websites have areas specifically for the children, specifically for parents, and specifically for catechists (teachers).

Discussion

Discuss with your child the importance of celebrating the Rite of Reconciliation in your life.  Also, discuss any experience that you have with reconciliation between friends, family, and spouses.  Have you or your child ever experienced a "falling out" with a friend or family member?  This is a great time to discuss this occurance in order to compare this aspect of human relationships with our relationship with God.  The difference here, obviously, is that God unconditionally loves us and will never leave us.  We, as humans, make the decision to choose loving actions and a life with God.  Even if we walk away, God will not.  He is always ready to give us a big forgiving hug when we want one.  

Set a Good Example  

Most parishes celebrate reconciliation at least once per week with individual confession.  It would be most helpful for your child to make the ride (or walk) to church with you at this time so that they can observe your effort in receiving reconciliation.  They should not be allowed to hear your confession, because that is a very private matter.  They can, however, observe your prayerful examination of conscience and act of penance. 

A point of interest here:  The photo above is a picture I took of a confessional in Italy on the island of Sicily.  In the older churches there, the confessional is positioned inside the main worship space of the sanctuary and the penitent sits in plain view of everyone in the church.  Fortunately, in the US, we are able to seek a completely secluded confession if we wish.  However, some may argue that this is but another example of the U.S. "me" mentality.         

PROPER ATTIRE

If your child will be celebrating his/her reconciliation individually, there is no need for special attire.  Have your child dress in what you and they feel is appropriate. 

Because communal reconciliation is normally celebrated in a church setting, appropriate attire would include clothing that your child normally wears to Mass. 

GIFTS

Traditionally, gifts are not given after First Reconciliation is celebrated.  I believe, however, that if a gift will be given at the time of First Communion, then a gift should also be given at the time of First Reconciliation.  The reason for this is to illustrate to the child the importance of both. 

If you are purchasing a gift from eBay, it is important to remember the typical scheduling for First Reconciliation celebrations.  They normally occur in early to mid-November and then again in March - April time frame prior to Easter.  If participating in an auction, it may be wise to begin the search for a gift in early October if the sacrament will be celebrated in November. 

Religious gifts at this time are proper.  Ideas for gifts include:

• Ten Commandments wall plaque or other item showing the Ten Commandments (such as a prayer card or bracelet).  Be careful here, because there are two (2) versions of the Ten Commandments on the market today.  Your child will be studying the version where "Love God above all things." and "Do not worship idols." are included in the same commandment. Some forms of the Ten Commandments break this commandment into two (2) separate commandments.  Your child will not have studied these separately.  Another signal that you have the right product is if "Love and honor your parents" is number four (4) on the "Great Top 10".
• A Wall Cross, Crucifix other item with a cross is a great reminder of God's unfailing love for us as shown through the sacrifice of Jesus the Son!
• A Bible or children's bible is, also, another gift that can be bestowed at this time.  Our life direction should come from the Word of God and those who seek to live by His word. 

CONCLUSION

Congratulations and blessings to you on your preparation for Reconciliation.  Remember, we were given children to lead them to God our Father.  The celebration of Reconciliation is a reminder to us all that none of us are perfect and that we all need God's loving forgiveness. 

Was this guide helpful to you?  If so, please vote "Yes" below.  I appreciate it!