Ebay Email Etiquette

for Buyers and Sellers

I've just received another rude, inconsiderate message via the Ebay messaging system from a potential Ebay customer. It prompted me to write this guide just because there seems to be an epidemic of this type of behavior among Ebayers that desperately seems to be in need of being addressed.

As a seller, I receive so many messages (questions, comments, concerns, requests) from fellow Ebayers - both buyers and sellers - and while most are positive in nature, there have been quite a few that have just about ruined my day - and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the Ebay system to experience this.

I have some suggestions for making the Ebay message system a much more pleasant experience for both Buyers and Sellers.

When sending a message to another Ebayer, please keep the following in mind...

(1) The Reader of the Message

Unfortunately, it seems that there are quite a few Ebayers who seem to either be totally unaware of - or just don't care about - the person receiving their message. They write their questions, comments, concerns or requests in such a way as to come across as rude and inconsiderate to the reader of their message. This doesn't endear them to the reader or help their cause. The old adage "You get more bees with honey than vinegar" holds true. If you want something, and are going to bother to take the time to email someone about it, be nice to them. They will be much more willing to respond quickly and helpfully to what it is that is important to you.

(2) The Message Itself: Word Choice and Tone

When you write your message...Choose your words carefully and take care in how you say what you want to say.  Don't be rude or inconsiderate when writing your message. (By the way, don't use all capital letters when emailing. It looks like "shouting".) Keep in mind the person on the other end of the line. They have to read what you are writing. We've all heard the old adage "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me," and we all know that that just isn't true. Words DO hurt. And people do get offended or hurt from the tone of the message. If the message comes across as offensive in word or tone, why should the recipient respond to your message positively?

(3) Reread the Message Before Sending It, and If Necessary - Rewrite It

Before you send it, reread it. You might be surprised to find that those words you casually and quickly dashed out actually come across sounding differently from what you actually mean. Reading it outloud to yourself is a great way to catch anything. Will the other person receiving it respond positively? If it sounds offensive in any way, rewrite it.

(4) K.I.S.S. - "Keep It Simple, Stupid."

Something helpful my dad always told me was "KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid". It's a pretty useful concept with a lot of different life applications. In this case, it applies to Ebay messages. If you keep your message simple and focused on what your question or comment is, without being rude or obnoxious in word or tone, you pretty much can't go wrong.

It all seems to come down to two very simple concepts that we all learned in kindergarten (although some of us seem to have either forgotten them, deliberately ignore them, or were absent from class the day they were taught)...

"Treat other people the way you want them to treat you."

AND

"If you can't say something nicely, don't say it at all."