With more and more different kinds of dolls available, buying the "perfect one" for your child can become more of a hassle than a joy.  Talking dolls, walking dolls, dolls to help with toilet training...where to begin?

Fortunately, it's not as complicated as it looks.  Just consider two things when choosing your child's doll: his/her age and personality.  Gender also plays into the decision, but it's less important than one might think. 

A word about boy's dolls: it's a popular misconception that boys should not, or do not enjoy, playing with dolls.  This is especially true with boys who have sisters.  It is also a misconception that playing with dolls means that a boy is less masculine or is "gay."  Playing with dolls does not "turn a boy gay," and it is not an indicator of his sexual orientation.  So let your sons play all they want!  There are some differences with regard to boy's doll preferences.  First, boys are less likely to enjoy playing with baby dolls, dollhouse dolls, or sometimes dolls that are girls.  They may not enjoy playing with dolls as long as girls do: while girls may continue playing with dolls into their pre-teens, boys will have found other interests to replace doll play by then.  Boys may also prefer that you not refer to their toys as "dolls"--"action figures," or simply "toys" may be more acceptable to their ears.  Boys generally will prefer dolls that are male.

So back to the two most important factors.  Let's start with age.  While children under the age of about 2-3 may not actively pretend-play with dolls, most children will enjoy cuddly dolls.  Cloth dolls that can be machine washed are the best pick for this age because they are softest and most durable.  Handmade Waldorf dolls designed for this age are classic examples: they do not have hair that requires brushing or can be chewed on, and they are made of very soft materials.  Be sure the doll you choose does not have parts that can be swallowed if they come off.

After age 3, children are old enough to handle a wider selection of dolls.  From age 3-6, children are developing motor skills at an incredibly fast rate and exploring their creativity.  They will enjoy dolls that they can dress/undress.  It's still important that the doll be durable, since the child will probably want to take it into all kinds of situations.  Children this young cannot care for very long, curly, or otherwise difficult hair as well, so be on the look-out for dolls that require a lot of upkeep.  While their are zillions of dolls being marketed now that "do" things--dance, talk, sing, etc., your child's favorite doll is not likely to be one of these.  S/he will want one that they can make do whatever they want to, and not one that is designed primarily to eat (for example).  With little children's creative minds, what they "make" the doll do will seem much more real to them than anything technology makes it do.  The Corelle "toddler dolls" are my favorite example of dolls designed for this age range.  At 14" tall, they are a good size for little hands, and they are beautiful dolls without being pricey or delicate.

From age 6 or 7 onward, children's motor skills are developed enough for them to enjoy dolls that have hair to care for and little accessories they can play with.  The doll is more likely to have a personality of its own because the child's play is more complex.  After about age 7, most boys will have jumped off the doll bandwagon to pursue other hobbies, but girls may enjoy dolls most at this age.  A doll can become a best friend and someone they can "talk" to.  They may take their dolls to their friends' houses to have parties with friends' dolls.  A doll, at this age in particular, can be an important force in developing a child's self-esteem.  While Barbie dolls are on every store's toy shelf today (it seems), research has shown that girls can become discouraged by these dolls because their own bodies look nothing like the dolls', and they may feel "fat" or "ugly" as a result.  I'm not saying that having a Barbie means your child will have an eating disorder, but it's best to balance out these types of dolls with others.  Children will often want a doll that looks "like me"--the same ethnicity, hair color, etc.  While getting a doll that can pass for your child's twin is not necessary, having a doll that shares a girl's general characteristics will help her feel that she is beautiful and loveable, just like her doll is.  At the same time, also having dolls of other cultures/ethnicities can also expand a child's world and help her to see people of different backgrounds as "just like me."  American Girl dolls are good options for girls of this age: girls often enjoy reading the books that go along with their doll, and the company offers a wider variety of different skin/hair tones than most doll collections do. 

Finally, the second factor: your child's personality.  There are, when you think about it, three main types of dolls: 1) baby dolls, 2) Barbie-types of dolls (commonly called "fashion dolls"), and 3) dolls designed to look like young children (Corelle toddler dolls, American Girl dolls, My Twinn dolls, etc.).  Which type of doll your child will prefer depends primarily upon his/her personality.  If your child tends to like to take care of things/people or enjoys being motherly/"in charge," then she might enjoy a baby doll best.  On the other hand, if you think your child would prefer a playmate s/he can play as an equal with (have tea parties with, make forts with, etc.), then a doll designed to look his/her age would be better.  (As a side note, boys often enjoy this type of doll best.)  Fashion dolls are not suitable for young children, since they are small and have small clothing/accessories that can easily be lost or swallowed.  Children older than six or seven sometimes enjoy collecting these and making families out of them (similar to how younger children play with dollhouse dolls).  Fashion dolls are good for this purpose since they are smaller (thus taking up less storage space) and generally cheaper than the other types of dolls so that several of them may be bought.  Siblings and friends can enjoy playing with fashion dolls together, sharing doll outfits and accessories.  Children often explore relationships through playing with these dolls (for instance, a child may have a sister doll and brother doll fight and then decide whether they should apologize to each other or not).  This helps with social development, particularly from age 7-10 (approximately).

A second thing related to personality to consider is whether your child will want a soft or hard doll (i.e., a cloth doll or a vinyl doll).  Soft dolls are always best for very young children/babies, and even children older than 4 may prefer a more cuddly doll to a harder one.  Soft dolls for children older than the toddler age can be hard to find; Waldorf-style handmade dolls (ebay always has some of these available) are these best example I can think of.  Vinyl dolls are much easier to find.  Stop to think whether your child may want to sleep with his/her doll at night (hint: does s/he love stuffed animals?), and that can give you a big clue as to whether a soft or hard doll will be best.