We have seen in this decade things in our country and world things that have shaken us to the core, and changed our perspectives and how we live, feel safe, and function in every day life.

From natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina, and fires, to 9/11, to just some very tragic deaths like Anna Nicole, Michael Jackson, etc.

And what I have seen is that finally people have given themselves permission to grieve and to cry on television and to let people know that they are in pain.  And it never should have taken all of this, to allow people to express their own sufferings, but it's better late than never.

When we take little boys that fall, and get hurt, break bones, and go to the hospital, and tell them not to cry when it hurts we are doing it wrong.  Why shouldn't they be allowed to do that the same as women who cry over the same injuries.  And I watched my 3 boy neighbors get injured through out their childhoods, fall from trees, rocks, forts, etc, and they never cried.  I was in tears watching them go in ambulances over and over, but they did not cry at all.  And as a young girl, I always thought that was unbearable because I knew they should be able to cry and release the pain and pressure.

For me, sad is sad, and pain is pain, it does not have a gender.  And we should all be able to express that sorrow, suffering, or physical pain, in the same way, without it meaning a thing about our character.  I would never teach a boy child not to cry when it hurts because it does not let their insides match their outsides later on in life, and they don't know where to put their true feelings, so it comes out as anger.  That manifests itself into harming others in violence, or the need to medicate the pain, and to harm our own bodies with drugs or alcohol.  When the release and true cause is simply just to be truthful and say it hurts or is sad.

Life is very long, and hard, with so many sad things that occur, and happen in a lifetime to family, friends, and the world.  And we were given tears to cry over it, and physical and mental strength to over come it, and we need them all to be healthy survivors in this world.  The answer is not to gloss over it, stand tall and hold back tears, that effect us in some other form later, the answer to feel what you are feeling, work through it, and to cry when you're sad.