There is a difference between money and riches. Most people are using eBay for the money, but I'll tell you how to get the true riches offered by the eBay system and in pursuing them you may even make more money.

A wise man once said "A good name is to be more desired than great riches, favor is better than silver and gold." Whether you're new to eBay or a long time user there's just no getting around it, eBay has the potential of making you a better person. You can't help yourself; it's inherent within the system.

Regardless of the way people initially become acquainted with eBay, the surface concerns are either buying or selling. Their “It” media campaign popularizes the fact that this vast marketplace has whatever you're looking for and if you already have it and don't need it, somebody else is probably looking for it on eBay. Practically speaking, the primary focus of this cyberspace flea market is money rather than morality but that doesn't mean that something moral is not taking place.

The self-policing “feedback” system of rewards for being an honest buyer or seller quickly become as obvious as the green plus signs in one's feedback profile; they not only tell other people that you're trustworthy, they're telling your conscience good things about your character.

While I'm no expert in psychology, I think having to examine our personal integrity in our dealings through eBay and being the ones in charge of building our own positive public image can be very self-affirming. At least this factor may be one of the reasons I find eBay so addicting. We've all heard that it's best to let other's praise you and not to toot your own horn so I can't think of a better way to encourage somebody to recognize my virtues and say it in their own words for all the world to see than by simply buying something I need or selling something I'm not using on eBay and being as decent as I can in that dealing.

Who knew that this brilliant business model for buying and selling would also turn out to be an incredible self-esteem builder? I'll bet the brains behind the system never even considered that the motivation to get kudos alone could be sufficient to cause some of us to go looking throughout the house hoping to find something, anything that we could offer up on the altar of eBay. Certainly they never thought that someone might choose to buy a product on eBay for reasons other than price… Like maybe the fact that buying it on eBay could add one more positive feedback to their rating?

On the other side of the coin eBay has helped me to hone my truth-telling skills so that I've nary a worry about getting that ominous scarlet letter of today, the negative feedback sign. Not that I was a liar before but we could all use some practice at becoming more transparent. Just the threat of the red minus symbol will keep most of us in line when otherwise we might be tempted to stretch the truth just a little bit about an item's condition. It also helps a bidder-buyer to keep their promise to fulfill their purchase contract when they might otherwise be tempted towards backing out leaving the seller in a bit of a lurch. The message is clear: think before you act or you'll get negative feedback. Once again this system even by it's negative reinforcement is helping people to be their best by following through on their commitments. There ought to be a “marriage eBay”…

Still, even with the best intentions it is possible to have a misunderstanding or run-in with a complete fraud or unreasonable lunatic. Most of us who've been buying or selling for any length of time on eBay have at least one such red mark against us that we don't deserve, but I'm convinced that most people can see through those image smearing campaigns when weighing the good feedback against the bad. Even negative experiences can be for the best in that through them we learn to be very diplomatic in dealing with difficulties and disappointments.

Since I believe that the character building assets of eBay while less publicized may ultimately be more important to our society than free trade, I have endeavored to list a few thoughts as a “guide” to getting the most out of what eBay can offer you:

1) In the beginning, list for sale or seek to buy at least one item per week on eBay.

If you're like most Americans, you have way more stuff than you need. You probably can think of a few items right off the top of your head that you probably aren't using that has worth to somebody, and you could make use of the extra money those items could bring in auction. Again like most Americans, you probably buy something each week that could be purchased off of eBay. Consider buying at least one of those items per week off of eBay simply for the “feedback credit”. It gives you experience and builds your credibility in the marketplace just like credit does in the real world.

2) Seek to be honest in your seller's listings.

I've seen some people go overboard with this to the point of describing every little scratch and providing myriad photographs of each and every minor flaw of a used item. Unless you're trying to talk people out of wanting your item, the term “used” should be sufficient. I've discovered that most people are reasonable about wear and tear when buying used things. What you should describe is unreasonable wear or damage affecting an item's intended use. Cosmetic appearance can be described honestly and quickly without the need for a lawyer's verbiage by just saying “slightly worn looking” or “significantly worn looking” and letting the buyer contact you for further details. I've found that this honest style of commentary is enough to produce a sale in most instances without the buyer contacting me for more information. Again, people feel that they know enough of what to expect by your honesty statement about its condition and they are prepared to accept it when your item arrives looking similar to what you said. Had you said “like new” for an item you knew to be scratched and dinged you would have set yourself up for an unhappy transaction and maybe a negative feedback comment.

Gaining positive feedback numbers will help people to trust your descriptions more and give you more confidence as a seller because you have a proven track record for being accurate about what you're offering. All of these things are good qualities that reflect in your own opinion about yourself in your day-to-day existence even if you're not aware of it or where it comes from. Can you say “I found it on eBay”…?

3) Stay in communication.

Whether I'm buying or selling an item on eBay, I will keep the other person apprised of my actions via email. I will also mention somewhere in my email to them that I will leave feedback after the transaction. This accomplishes two things: first it lets people know I care and that they matter even after the money has changed hands, and second it lets them know that I'm weighing their actions and will report about them. Just telling them that keeps them on their best behavior and lets them know that I'm going to be on my best behavior too as it works both ways. We hold ourselves accountable before each other, which makes us both feel good about our actions when we commend one another for a job well done.

4) Don't be hasty to assume the worst.

I read people's feedback. I just know that some of the negative feedback wars could have been avoided by patience. Not everybody is a dead-beat. Always speak politely in your emails and assume the best of the other person. I have found that I've diffused a hasty outburst or two by being very reasonable and giving detailed explanations of my actions. I could not have done this if I was too busy to communicate with them. Don't expect the other person to have this mindset, but use it yourself and you'll find that they may back-off their angry stance if not apologize outright for their behavior. I've seen both happen. You're developing character here and becoming a diplomat.

5) Be forgiving.

God does it. Forgiveness is a huge character plus and something that we all like to receive. Sometimes you'll have a situation that you can either choose to fight over or let it slide. Choose to be wronged on small issues and be the bigger person. I'm not talking about outright fraud and deception, we do no favors when we enable people toward bad behavior; I'm talking about the smaller stuff that we can overlook like shipping overcharges and honest mistakes like an item's description. We don't all see things the same way, and it's possible to fail to describe something to somebody else the way they would like to hear it described. I say Turquoise you say Teal. Tomato, tamato, eBay is going to help you learn a Godlike trait and practice forgiveness. How you treat others will show in your feedback.

In summary, eBay is not only a marketplace where you can find whatever your looking for and buy it at a good price or sell what you no longer use and get the going rate for it, eBay is a place where your interpersonal skills can grow and commend themselves and build your self-esteem. While giving your best you are discovering your best, and other people you meet there are doing the same thing. It is truly a place where “what goes around comes around.” These are the unexpected Backdoor Riches of eBay.