THIS IS A GUIDE WRITTEN FROM MY HEART AND I DEDICATE IT TO MY WONDERFUL MOTHER WHO LOVED HER FAMILY MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD MOM. .

I AM WRITING THIS SENSITIVE GUIDE BECAUSE SADLY I LOST MY MOTHER 2 WEEKS AGO AND MY 2 YOUNG DAUGHTERS LOST THEIR GRANDMOTHER . THE TRAGIC PART IS  THEIR GRANDMOTHER DIED IN HER SLEEP AND WAS NOT SICK AND  I HAD NO ANSWERS FOR THEM OR FOR ME. THROUGH THE HELP OF FRIENDS AND PROFESSIONALS I HAVE LEARNED AND LISTENED AND I HOPE THIS SENSITIVE  GUIDE  ON A ISSUE  VERY SENSITIVE  TOPIC CAN HELP OTHERS.

SOON AFTTER I LEARNED MY MOM'S SUDDEN DEATH THE QUESTIONS FRO M  MY LITTLE GIRLS  AGE 5 AND 8 WERE H HAD WERE HARD TO ANSWER . YOUNG CHILDREN  5 YRS OLD  AND UNDER  THINK GRANDMA WENT ON A VACATION AND IS COMING BACK. A MAJOR MISTAKE WHEN EXPLAINING DEATH PARENTS OFTEN MAKE IS TELLING YOUNG CHILDREN  GRANDMA IS COMING HOME AND SHE IS ON A LONG TRIP. CHILDREN  HAVE TO BE TOLD GRANDMA  HAS GONE TO HEAVEN AND NO SHE WILL NEVER BE BACK, OTHERWISE IF YOU GO ON VACATION  YOUR CHILD WILL THINK YOU ARE NOT COMING BACK EITHER. SO DO NOT USE THIS POPULAR EXPLANATION JUST BECAUSE IT IS LESS PAINFUL.. TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT DEATH IN A SIMPLE NON SCARY WAY . THEY WILL GET THE MESSAGE AND LEARN NOT TO FEAR DEATH. 

WE ALL  AS PARENTS TRY TO  PROTECT AND SHIELD CHILDREN  AS LONG AS WE CAN  FROM LIFE'S  DARK SIDE BUT WE CAN'T PROTECT THEM FOREVER AND YOU AS A PARENT ARE RESPONSIBLE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT  TO TEACH AND ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT FOR EXAMPLE " WHY DID GRANDMA DIE AND WHAT IS  DEATH ? 

 UNFORTUNATELY ONE DAY WHEN A CLOSE RELATIVE DIES LIKE THE PASSING OF A GRANDMA OR SUCH  YOUR CHILD WILL BE EXSPECTED TO ATTEND A FUNERAL SERVICE AND THE NIGHT BEFORE EXPLAIN WHAT  GOES ON AT A FUNERAL. THE SIGHT OF A CASKET FOR THE FIRST TIME IS VERY SCARY.

MY OLDEST DAUGHTER IS EIGHT AND  WAS OLD ENOUGH TO ATTEND HER FIRST FUNERAL  HER GRANDMA'S.. MY FIVE YEAR OLD DID NOT ATTEND , THIS IS TOO YOUNG FOR A CHILD TO FACE GRIEF AND CAN CAUSE NIGHTMARES AND OTHER PROBLEMS AS WELL.

EVEN THOUGH I SUFFERED A SHOCKING LOSS AND I AM STILL MOURNING, I HAD TO FACE THE FACT MY DAUGHTERS ALSO WERE VERY UPSET AND GRIEVING TOO. I SUGGEST NOT TO GET HYSTERICAL AND AVIOD BREAKING DOWN IN FRONT OF YOUNG CHILDREN . BUT THEY SAW ME CRY  WHEN I HEAR THE SHOCKING CALL TO TELL ME MY MOTHER WAS DEAD AND I WAS IN SHOCK AND MY 2 GIRLS WERE PRESENT AND WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO GRANDMA GLADYS. I EXPLAINED SIMPLY MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY IN HER SLEEP  HAS GONE TO HEAVEN AND WILL BE WITH GRANDPA AGAIN. I ALSO SAID HOW MUCH SHE LOVED THE BOTH OF YOU SO MUCH AND ALWAYS WILL WATCH OVER YOU. MY VERY SMART 5 YEAR OLD SAID "DID SHE DIE BECASUSE SHE WAS OLD?" I ANSWERED SHE LIVED TO 72 , NOT OLD IN THIS DAY AND AGE, BUT TO MY FIVE YEAR OLD SHE WAS ANCIENT!

DEATH CAN HAPPEN AT ANY AGE BUT YES, MOSTLY DEATHS OCCUR WHEN YOU ARE MUCH MUCH OLDER." DID SHE GO OVER THE RAINBOW LIKE DOROTHY IN THE WIZARD OF OZ" ANOTHER GREAT QUESTION, "YES, SHE IS OVER THE RAINBOW AND IS WITH GRANDPA AGAIN" MY FATHER PASSED 6 YEARS AGO." I MISS HER ALREADY" MY FIVE YEAR OLD SAID BUT EVEN AT 5 SHE HAD MEMORIES I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T FORGET.THE BEST QUESTION SHE ASKED WAS " ARE YOU GOING TO DIE NEXT WEEK?

NO, I  HOPE TO BE AROUND TO WATCH YOU GO ON YOUR FIRST DATE, WATCH YOU GET MARRIED AND I WANT LOTS OF GRANDCHILDREN! I AM GOING TO NAME MY BABY AMANDA THAT WAS GRANDMA'S FAVORITE NAME, "THAT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO HER I SAID".

MY EIGHT YEAR OLD WHO WAS MY MOTHER'S FIRST GRANDDAUGHTER REACTED DIFFERENTLY, SHE HEARD THE NEWS SLAMMED HER DOOR AND CRIED.AND I SAID ITS O.K CRY LET IT ALL OUT. SHE DIDN'T SAY MUCH AND I JUST HELD HER AND TOLD HER LIFE CAN BE VERY PAINFUL BUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER TIME IN THIS WORLD WAS UP AND SHE LIVED A VERY HAPPY SUCCESSFUL LIFE, AND SHE DIDN'T LEAVE YOU BY CHOICE. I REMINDED HER HOW MUCH SHE LOVED HER, AND LOVE NEVER DIES AND MEMORIES CAN'T BE ERASED. GRANDMA WILL ALWAYS BE PART OF YOU, YOU WILL CARRY HER IN YOUR HEART NOW.

THE NIGHTLY PHONECALLS FROM GRANDMA WAS THE HARDEST TO DEAL WITH, THE PHONE DIDN'T RING AT 7.30 AT NIGHT LIKE IT ALWAYS DID, AND SATURDAYS ARE THE HARDEST DAY OF THE WEEK BECAUSE WE ALWAYS WENT OUT TO LUNCH AT NOON FOR YEARS. THE LOSS OF COMMUNICATION IS THE HARDEST PART OF DEATH.

THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL MY EIGHT YEAR OLD, ALL DRESSED UP BEACAUSE SHE WANTED TO LOOK NICE FOR GRANDMA AND I TOLD HER SHE LOOKED BEAUTIFUL. AND SHE ALSO DRESSED HER AMERICAN GIRL DOLL" MARISOL" IN PROPER CLOTHES AND MY DAUGHTER THAT DAY TRANSFORMED FROM A CHILD AND BECAME A YOUNG LADY THAT DAY. SHE BRAVELY ACCEPTED ONE DAY WE ALL WILL LEAVE THIS EARTH AND ONE DAY SHE WILL LOSE  HER MOTHER TOO. A LESSON TO BE LEARNED LIVE EVERYDAY TO THE FULLEST AND CHERISH THE TIME WE HAVE TOGETHER . SHE DID NOT GO TO THE CEMETARY AND I DO NOT SUGGEST ANYONE UNDER 10 YEARS OLD SHOULD UNLESS IT IS A PARENT. I MET HER LATER AT MY BROTHERS HOUSE AND SHE ALREADY WAS BUSY PLAYING DRESS UP PRINCESSES WITH HER SISTER AND COUSIN, SHE WAS CINDERELLA. LIFE I WISH WAS A FAIRY TALE AND I WISH WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

, THEY KNOW THE TRUTH NOW ,  FAIRY TALES MAY LAST ONLY UNTIL THE THE COSTUMES COMES OFF, .FANTASY IS NOT REALITY .A HARD LESSON FOR A CHILD.THAT NEXT DAY I TOLD THEM TO MAKE A PICTURE OF THEIR FAVORITE TIME WITH GRANDMA. MY LITTLE ONE DREW A PICTURE OF THE TWO OF THEM EATING LUNCH ON A TYPICAL SATURDAY AND SHE DREW A BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW ON THE TOP OF THE PICTURE, I THINK SHE GOT IT.

 OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR LEGACY MAKE BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES TOGETHER AND TELL THEM STORIES ABOUT THEIR RELATIVES FUNNY ONES ESPECIALLY, PASS THEM DOWN TO YOUR CHILDREN I TOLD THEM, DEATH IS ONLY FINAL WHEN A LOVED ONE IS FORGOTTEN, MEMORIES ARE TIMELESS AND SO IS LOVE