Like many young people, I was married before I knew what I was doing.  On Sunday at graduation he asked me, on Tuesday night we were going home to our parents to tell them what we had done.  A year and a half later, we finally have it figured out.  From how to pay the bills, to managing a social life while keeping each other satisfied.

Dealing with it

The hardest thing to do when young and married, is explain.  We eloped and for months we had to explain that no, I was not pregnant.  Once that initial shock wore off, we had to explain why.  Let me tell you, what others think, doens't matter.  If people want to snicker behind your back and tell you that it was a stupid mistake, let them.  All that matters in a marriage is that you love each other.  After about 6 months people learn to live with it, it was your decision, your life, and, your marriage.

Living together

Ever lived alone with another person?  Me neither until a year and a half ago.  It took three months of living with his mother before we found our first apartment.  Finally one day we realized it was time to get our own place.  The first week was hectic moving furniture in, realizing we didn't have a couch or a table, finding out that the kitchen was carpetted.  The second week was even better, we had our own place, yea, we only had bean bag chairs, but we were working on it, we only had one pan and a toaster, but we were working on it.  We were together, with no parents.  When you get your first place you are not going to have everything.  Word of warning, I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARD(S) BUYING FURNITURE AND POTS AND PANS!!!!!

     Living with another person is hard.  Going into it you each have an idea of what it's supposed to be like, and until those two ideas mesh, the two of you are in a constant headbutt.  He thinks women should do the cleaning and he should work, you think the opposite.  You think chores should be shared he thinks it doesn't matter how many dishes are on the sink.  You think clothes belon g in the hamper, he insists that they belong where they land.  If you have these problems or arguments, sit down and talk about them, don't yell and scream.Tell each other what you expect, what you want and how you want it before it gets out of hand.  Believe me, the alternative stinks.  My personal feelings when we began living together that he worked, I cleaned.  And that's still how we do it, although I have moved on to making him take out the trash, I tried to get him to put his clothes in the hamper, but I gave up, as long as they are in the right room, I'm happy.

     Now we all have one day of the week that we're at home with our spouse and can lay on the couch all day.  Ladies, give him the remote.  It's a small gesture that makes your life MUCH easier.  On top of that, if you have a hobby like crocheting, cross stitching, sewing, painting, whatever, you can do that in the room with himand virtually block out the TV.  This way you are togehter, but you don't have to watch 10 hours of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Budget

     The main thing to do is create a budget.  I know, you're thinking, I'm 18, why wo uld I want to make a budget?  That's for old ladies!  Let me tell you, you're married now, grow up!  Get a piece of computer paper and a pen make 2 columns on this page and then about 4 boxes on each side.  At the very top of each box put the dates that you get paid.  For instance, we get paid every Friday, so in Box 1 I have January 6, the next box January 13, and so on.  Next to the date write in how much money you think you will have that week.  I make about 100 a week and my husband 500 a week so I have 600 in each box, anything extra is a bonus (this is where you will furnish your new home).  In each box put down what bills need to be paid when.  This way you know exactly when your money is going to be spent and you know when each bill is getting paid.  There's no "Uh oh, electric bill is due will I have the money?"  It keep you in line with your money.  Also, instead of writing out the rent check in one lump sum on the first of the month, pull some out every week.  For example, my rent is $425 a month, every week I pull out $100 so on the first of the month I'm not pulling $425 out of the bank, much easier on the checkbook.  When you have a little extra money after grocery shopping (we spend about 60 a week grocery shopping), go and buy a new pan, or a toaster, or go to GoodWill and get a couch.  You will find that when you stick to your budget you have more money and more options than if you just wing it.  The worst thing you can do is run up your credit card, not only will it mess up your credit, but you will pay 20-30% more than you need to.  Who needs to be 18 and 30,000$ in debt?

Each other

Bills are important.  Know what's even more important?  Being in love with your spouse.  It's the little things in life that matter.  Bring him his dinner, open his can of soda for him, pack his lunch for work.  Little things like lying in bed together at night and talking about your day can bring you so much closer together.  Play a game together, eat dinner at the table and not in front of the TV.  I work first shift and my husband third yet still we make time to love each other.  Even if you go out with your friends on Saturday night, make Sunday night a time for you two just to lay on the couch.

Chores

No one ever wants to do dishes or clean the toilet.  But then, no one wants to eat off a plate that's dirty. Figure out everything that needs done.  Laundry, trash, dishes, vacuuming, toilet cleaning, any other chores, and just do them.  Don't even talk about it, just do it.  If one of you sees there is a sink full of dishes, just wash them.  If one of you sees the trash is overflowing, change it.  The stupidest thing you can argue over, next to money, is chores.  It's not worth it, there are more important things in life.

10 Rules for Marriage

1. Never both be agnry at the same time.

2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

3. Someone has to win an argument, let it be your mate.

4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.

5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.

6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8. Always give at least one compliment each day.

9. Admit your wrongs and ask for forgiveness.

10. It takes two to make a quarrel, but the one in the wrong does the most talking.

In Conclusion

Love each other.  Spend time together.  Dont argue.   In the end, it's just money.  Remember these things, and you'll be a happy couple with a great story for your kids!